A broken record – 36 tracks mums play on repeat

I love Thursdays and Fridays. They are the only two days of the week where the girls and I have uninterrupted quality time together.

We don’t have to be anywhere, we don’t have to do anything. It’s our chance to slow down, take it easy and simply hang.

As much as I love these days, by 5pm on a Friday I’m reaching for the wine. By 5pm on a Friday, I’m a shell of a woman. I am completely and utterly exhausted, and quite simply, sick of my own voice.

When mum used to tell us she felt like a broken record, I had no idea what she was going on about. I’m telling you now, mum, I hear ya. I really do. I seem to be repeating the same things over and over again to the girls.

Surely this has to be a phase. What I’m saying will eventually sink in, right?

Here’s what’s been playing on repeat at our house lately (in no particular order). Let me know if they sound familiar or if you have any to add.

1. Don’t drink the bath water

2. Because I said so

3. There are children in the world who are starving

4. I don’t care if you don’t like it, just eat it

5. Just try it, you’ll like it

6. What is it, yes or no. Yes. Or. No?

7. If you bite your fingernails, you will get worms in your bottom

8. If you don’t wash your hands before you eat, you will get worms in your bottom

9. Who did a fluffy? (sniffs bottoms)

10. Do you need to go to the toilet?

11. Why are you holding your wee wee if you don’t need to go to the toilet?

12. Don’t lick the food off your feet

13. What’s the magic word?

14. No more whingy voice

15. Don’t hit your sister

16. Share. Share. SHARE!!!

17. Everybody stop talking for a second, I can’t hear myself think

18. Your bedroom looks like a cyclone has hit it

19. Look with your eyes, not your hands

20. Have you done a wee today?

21. No, you can’t play on the iPad

22. Use your fork, you’re not an animal

23. Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve

24. Use a tissue

25. Yes, you do have to wear shoes

26. 1, 2, 3 …

27. Is that a truth or a lie?

28. Don’t run in the house

29. Don’t jump on the couch

30. When you break the couch, we won’t be getting a new one

31. What did I just say?

32. Slow down and use your words

33. There’s no such thing as monsters

34. Where did you leave it last?

35. No means no

36. How many times do I have to tell you?

Do any of these sound familiar? What’s playing on repeat in your house?

Linking up today with the ever-awesome Jess for IBOT.

62 comments on A broken record – 36 tracks mums play on repeat

  1. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    July 14, 2015 at 6:42 am (2 years ago)

    LOL! Yes! Although mine have outgrown those phrases now. We have new phrases. The broken record continues just on a different track.

    PS I might use that “if you bite your fingernails you’ll get worms in your bottom” on my 15 year old! That one might actually sink in …

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 8:51 pm (2 years ago)

      My two year old is always lick hers :/ She spilt rice on it the other day and lifted her foot up to her mouth and ate it lol. So gross.

      Reply
  2. Lydia C. Lee
    July 14, 2015 at 7:00 am (2 years ago)

    This is what does my head in, that you have to keep having the same conversation every day – or 20 times in 5 minutes. I can’t believe you don’t have “Put your shoes on, we’re leaving” (or the weekday variation “Put your shoes on, it’s time for school”

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 8:53 pm (2 years ago)

      God! I can’t believe I didn’t have that either because that’s what I’m saying all of the ruddy time to my two year old. Argh!

      Reply
  3. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter)
    July 14, 2015 at 7:02 am (2 years ago)

    Oh yes, but many have been replaced with. ‘Stop speaking to your sister that way.’ ‘Can’t you just get along for five minutes?’ ‘When I was your age I would have loved having a sister to play with.’ and the old beauty… ‘Back in my day…’

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 8:54 pm (2 years ago)

      Lol. Ahh yes. That old beauty πŸ™‚

      Reply
  4. Bec @The Plumbette
    July 14, 2015 at 7:28 am (2 years ago)

    I think we have the same record here. I say nearly all of them except for fluffy. We use the word fart. Not sure if that’s a great thing but the girls know what I’m talking about. Maggie now blames the dog if she smells a fart. She’s a smart one. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 8:55 pm (2 years ago)

      Lol. Yes, she’ll go far that one πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. Karin @ Calm to Conniption
    July 14, 2015 at 7:29 am (2 years ago)

    Yes! I am always on about not drinking the bath water and asking if he needs to go to the toilet. Another regular for me is, Is that how you ask for something?

    Reply
  6. Jayne
    July 14, 2015 at 8:52 am (2 years ago)

    Haha yes they all get a workout at our place but the most constant one is ‘get off the kitchen bench’ aimed at Lewis who climbs up on there 50 times a day!!

    Reply
  7. Raychael aka Mystery Case
    July 14, 2015 at 9:05 am (2 years ago)

    I had a whole phase, where I stopped sounding like a broken record but now with three teens I’m back to sounding more like a broken record than usual. It’s just a different record that I’m playing this time round.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 8:58 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh Lord! I can hardly wait, Raychael πŸ™‚

      Reply
  8. Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life
    July 14, 2015 at 9:12 am (2 years ago)

    Haha! Yes, my kids are now teens and tweens and I still use a couple of these phrases! If only I had a dollar for each time I’ve said them, I’d be richer than James Packer!

    Reply
  9. Sasha @ From the Left Field
    July 14, 2015 at 9:19 am (2 years ago)

    Oh my gosh! Have you been hiding in my house lately? πŸ˜› Love it!! It’s amazing how many of those lines become universal once you have kids. Also how bizarre some of them sound pre-kids but once you have those cherubs they become second nature. x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:00 pm (2 years ago)

      They really are second nature now. Crazy isn’t it?!

      Reply
  10. Emily
    July 14, 2015 at 9:20 am (2 years ago)

    Oh yes. Here are ours (with some overlaps): How do you ask nicely? – Stop yelling at your brother. – Can you hear yourself? You’re yelling again. – STOP YELLING! – Did you draw that? It’s so pretty/scary/lifelike/swirly/spotty. – Do you want to sit on the potty? – No throwing in the house. – Do not throw that ball. – If you throw that ball, it’s going on the fridge. – Stop screaming. I told you I would put the ball on the fridge if you threw it again. – Stop screaming. – PLEASE stop screaming. – Sigh. Would you like a cuddle?

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:01 pm (2 years ago)

      Haha. Nailed it, Em. You sound exactly like me. I like to solve things with a cuddle x

      Reply
  11. Nicole@ The Builders Wife
    July 14, 2015 at 10:24 am (2 years ago)

    Yep, every single one, and there all over 11 years old. Oh my goodness πŸ™

    Reply
  12. Andrea
    July 14, 2015 at 11:29 am (2 years ago)

    Yup. How can a child remember the names of 25 different dinosaurs but not remember to say please when he asks for something?? Sigh… (‘What’s the magic word’ question just resulted in ‘Abacadambra’, so we don’t use that anymore…

    Reply
  13. Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers
    July 14, 2015 at 11:57 am (2 years ago)

    Yes! I can add, did you flush the toilet? Go back and flush the toilet and wash your hands again. Do I have to ask you 20 times and then shout before you listen to me? Where are your manners? Sit on your bottom to eat dinner, sit back down, sit back down, sit back down……

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:06 pm (2 years ago)

      Ooh you’re good. Those are some good ones there. Ah the amount of repetition gets you doesn’t it?!

      Reply
  14. Toni @ Finding Myself Young
    July 14, 2015 at 12:30 pm (2 years ago)

    At the moment its:

    Have you done a poo?
    No we can’t go outside its too cold
    No we’re not playing with bubbles in the house
    Do we have to watch the Bananas AGAIN
    Stop jumping on me.
    Stop playing with the cat biscuits, you’re not meant to be in the kitchen go outside. No I didn’t mean we could go outside I meant go outside of the kitchen.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:07 pm (2 years ago)

      Lol. That’s hilarious, Toni πŸ™‚

      Reply
  15. Natalie
    July 14, 2015 at 1:45 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh yes I hear ya! And it gets worse as they get older, because they talk back more!
    We’ve had: stop fighting with your sister; stop bullying your sister; stop looking at your sister; keep your hands to yourselves; stop playing on your phone; look for it yourself; what am I, your servant?; where you last left it, that’s where it is!

    Btw I have 3 girls!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:08 pm (2 years ago)

      I bet they keep you on your toes πŸ™‚ Three girls would be lovely πŸ™‚

      Reply
  16. Robyn
    July 14, 2015 at 2:12 pm (2 years ago)

    Hahaha, oh yes I know them all well. Another one I seem to say all the time is “It’s that or nothing, you choose!” xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:09 pm (2 years ago)

      Ahh that’s a good one, Robyn. I use that too x

      Reply
  17. EssentiallyJess
    July 14, 2015 at 2:25 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh I hear you. ‘Stop fighting!’ has been on repeat here just lately, along with, ‘no shoes on the couch,’ ‘do not jump on the couch,’ ‘can I please have five minutes to just think!’ and my favourite one, ‘flush the toilet!’
    How are we not insane by now?

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:10 pm (2 years ago)

      I’m bordering on insane, Jess, and I only have half as many kids as you :/

      Reply
  18. Liz
    July 14, 2015 at 3:15 pm (2 years ago)

    Don’t drink the bath water (although that has become less of a problem since we trained her up for a trip to Bali) and yes or no??! are big ones here. Also lots of repetition on who’s wearing shoes, socks, jumper, buttons, zips- pretty much everything. I’m sure some of the above will come when she is older though

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:11 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh what a good girl learning to not drink the bath water. I’m hoping I’ll eventually get there with mine πŸ™‚

      Reply
  19. Tash @ Gift Grapevine
    July 14, 2015 at 4:54 pm (2 years ago)

    So many of these are on my playlist Renee! It’s exhausting isn’t it? I’ll also add – “Where are your pants?”, “Sand stays in the sandpit” and “Not on the carpet!”. We’ve just had new carpet laid in the lounge room and I’m trying to keep it as new as possible before the tornadoes wreak havoc and destroy the joint. Surely one nice room in the house isn’t too much to ask?!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:12 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh how lovely to have new carpet!! You need to put up a barricade πŸ™‚

      Reply
  20. Josefa @always Josefa
    July 14, 2015 at 6:47 pm (2 years ago)

    Brilliant Renee, we only work on repeat at our place. Gosh sometimes I wonder if I am just talking (or yelling) at myself! The “stop fighting with your brother” one is wearing me thin though, wish that one would stop….

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:14 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes, we could do with less of that here too, Josefa πŸ™‚

      Reply
  21. Dannielle
    July 14, 2015 at 8:25 pm (2 years ago)

    I think you’ve been looking in through my windows again Renee! No.7 & 8 made me giggle out loud, I hate the thought of worms in bottoms, I can still remember my mum…. lights out, torch in hand looking at my brother’s butt hole, she obviously wanted a visual confirmation, oh the things we do as mum’s sometimes!!
    ‘What did I just say?’ gets a good run as does 1,2,3 except I now go backwards (think that’s only happened since baby number 3?), they do say variety is the spice of life!
    Another thing I’m good at saying is ‘Quick Sticks’ when I’m in a hurry.
    I have to say ‘how amazing is wine?!’, or vodka, 1 or 2 just seem to make everything so much easier to listen too!
    Keep fighting the good fight amazing lady, love your style, your words always bring me such great comfort xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:16 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh you’re such a sweetheart, Dannielle. Thank you!! Yes, I have memories of my mum with the torch too. Lol. Oh God. I don’t use quick sticks, but I love it. Will start tomorrow! xx

      Reply
  22. Hugzilla
    July 14, 2015 at 9:42 pm (2 years ago)

    Hahhahahhahhaa! OMG, we have quite a few of those in our Top 20 as well. And what the HECK is with drinking the bathwater. YOU JUST PEED IN THAT. I SAW YOU. Why would you want to DRINK IT?!?

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:17 pm (2 years ago)

      Haha! I know! I know! It just doesn’t seem to phase them. So gross.

      Reply
  23. Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad
    July 15, 2015 at 6:54 am (2 years ago)

    Yep. Same soundtrack here. I’ve been saying ‘don’t lick your brother’. That’s a new one here and ‘get your hands out of your pants’ is very old πŸ™‚ it is exhausting but at least there is wine!

    Reply
  24. Kathy
    July 15, 2015 at 8:39 am (2 years ago)

    Yes the repeated refrains. And they continue as they get older because they will never, ever pick anything up or put anything away. I am seriously rocking the loud and energetic countdown, complete with finger clicking – decisions have to be made, things have to be done in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:18 pm (2 years ago)

      Haha! I can just picture you doing this, Kathy πŸ™‚

      Reply
  25. Lucy @ Bake Play Smile
    July 16, 2015 at 1:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Hahaha this is hilarious!! I did some casual teaching in a Grade 5 class this week and I said the same things over and over again too!!!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      July 16, 2015 at 9:19 pm (2 years ago)

      I can not even imagine how you would handle more than 25 kids. Argh!

      Reply

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