Being true to yourself

sunrise‘Be true to myself’.

This is one of a handful of mantras I wrote down at the end of 2012 to help guide me through 2013.

I have to say, ‘Be true to myself’ has been a surprisingly tricky one for me to follow.

I’ve found that it’s one thing to say, ‘Okay Renee, go off and be true to yourself,’ but another to actually do it.

To be true to myself, I have to know who I am and I just don’t completely feel that I know who I am yet. I know that is kind of a bizarre thing for a 36-year-old to say, but it’s true.

People like my husband, Dave, are effortlessly true to themselves. Dave is confident in his beliefs and in himself. He is his own man and runs his own race.

I don’t find it as easy. I feel that I have spent a large portion of my life doing things to please others and to live up to their expectations. I’ve let people talk me into doing things that I was never really sure were right for me. As a result, I’ve made some life choices that weren’t my choices at all. I have always spent too much time worrying about hurting people’s feelings and not being who THEY want me to be. I have my own opinions and my own thoughts, but I’ve often been too afraid to make them heard.

I sometimes wonder if I did have the courage in the past to speak my mind and be true to myself then where would I be now?

I’m not saying I’m not happy with the life I’ve led to this day. It’s just that I have recognised recently that what I’ve been doing in the past is not right for me anymore and continuing on this path would not be healthy for me.

A few months ago, on that day watching Melrose, I realised I had hit rock bottom. I was living a zombie-like existence. I was lost, unfulfilled and unhappy, although I had everything I could ever wish for.

This feeling of hitting rock bottom forced me to switch off the TV, put down the chocolate bar and think, like really think, about me and my happiness, about this mantra.

How often do we afford ourselves the luxury of stepping back from all the chaos within our lives to reflect on who we are, what we’re doing, and what we want from life?

We so often get caught up in the mundane that we become robots doing the same old, same old for no reason other than we do it because that’s what we’ve always done. It’s safe. It’s familiar. It will do.

It is only now, six months after I wrote down that mantra, that I feel like I may actually be starting to be true to myself.

Becoming a blogger has allowed me to look deep within myself and think about what it is I want from life, what my passions are, who I want to be and what I want to do.

Being true to myself is not going to be an easy road as old habits die hard. I am determined though to be as courageous as I can, be proud of my individuality, respect myself and be responsible.

You should try it too. You will be surprised how good it feels.

When was the last time you sat down and thought about what YOU want out of YOUR life? Are you being true to yourself?

32 comments on Being true to yourself

  1. Lydia C. Lee
    June 7, 2013 at 6:33 am (4 years ago)

    The question is, what do you do next? Interesting and thought provoking post.
    Good Luck!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 6:40 am (4 years ago)

      I have a few ideas, Lydia. (If I’m brave enough) πŸ™‚ Stay tuned πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad
    June 7, 2013 at 8:14 am (4 years ago)

    I have the same thoughts sometimes. It’s so easy to please everyone else, but my own truth often gets left out of the equation. I am still searching to find what really works for me. Who I am. Motherhood has really shaken it all up. I know that once my children are older I have another chance of starting again but right now I’m in the middle of sorting through all the head junk about what it is I want to do with myself and how that will best represent who I feel I am. I’m glad you’re sticking by the mantra and making headway! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 8:51 am (4 years ago)

      Thanks so much, Vicki. It’s good to hear I’m not alone. It is difficult to sort through that head junk isn’t it?! Good luck with your journey and rediscovering who you are πŸ™‚

      Reply
  3. Kate
    June 7, 2013 at 9:57 am (4 years ago)

    Fantastic question and something I have been asking myself lately. I have just had my second child and unlike first time round I had a job I loved to go back to. This time I don’t and this really stresses me out. It’s really hard finding good jobs that are flexible! So I am asking myself some tough questions, do I want to stay in the same industry or upskill or change career paths? I don’t have the answers yet but I am working on it. Good luck with your path of self discovery.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 1:29 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Kate and good luck with yours too. It definitely is hard to find good jobs that are flexible. I totally hear what you’re saying about asking yourself tough questions. It can be an extremely scary, not to mention difficult, thing changing career paths at this stage of our lives, but so many women manage to do it. Keep looking for the answers, Kate, and I’m sure you will find what is right for you. Good luck!

      Reply
  4. Simone
    June 7, 2013 at 11:19 am (4 years ago)

    Beautiful Renee. It is not easy being true to yourself and I think you do hurt people along the way, unintentionally of course. Pleasing yourself and not all the other people is always a challenge as we don’t want to seem selfish. But being selfish and practicing self love are different and putting yourself first is actually the most loving thing you can do for those who you love.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 1:30 pm (4 years ago)

      Ahh wise old Simone. I have never thought of it that way, but I definitely think you are right. Practicing self love is so difficult for many of us to do, but as you say, so important. Thanks for dropping by x

      Reply
  5. Claire
    June 7, 2013 at 12:50 pm (4 years ago)

    Do you have a hidden camera at my house! The things you blog about so closely reflect my life/thoughts its not funny! Great writing Renee. My struggle is working out who I am. I really have no idea & I’m just that robot full of head junk trying to get through each week. I’m hoping some clarity will develop soon. In the meantime, raspberries from my baby & ‘love you’ from Miss 4 keeps me going! Oh, and the Tim Tams hubby got from the servo at 10:30pm also help a bit

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 1:35 pm (4 years ago)

      Lol, Claire!! It means so much to me that people are connecting with what I write about and that I’m not alone. None of us are. This stage in our lives is just a real rollercoaster. I get dizzy thinking about it. We rarely get time to ourselves let alone time to think! We are all growing in amazing and unique ways everyday though. We will find our true selves eventually!

      Reply
  6. Katyberry
    June 7, 2013 at 1:17 pm (4 years ago)

    This is the reason I started my blog a month or so ago to – there is something really clarifying in the reflection and writing down of things.

    It is not that I don’t know myself, as much as anyone can, it’s just that I am open to learning new things and hearing new opinions and changing my mind. Which is not a bad thing, but can sometimes make me feel like I am a wishy-washy person. Drives my husband mad “But what do you WANT?” he asks – It’s not that I’m always settling, it’s just that I can find elements of what I want in many different things.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 1:38 pm (4 years ago)

      Oooh I like the way you think Katyberry! You’ve really got me thinking now! This blogging gig is so therapeutic, isn’t it?! I’m off to check out your blog now πŸ™‚

      Reply
  7. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    June 7, 2013 at 2:12 pm (4 years ago)

    Great post. Very thought provoking.
    I went through all this about five years ago. And yes, it took hitting rock bottom to make me bounce up higher than ever. My dreams were born from that experience … and now I am living them. It’s a good feeling. I hope you get to discover your dreams! Soon.
    Happy Friday.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 2:26 pm (4 years ago)

      Wow! Leanne, how inspiring! I’m glad you are living your dreams. What a truly wonderful thing to be able to say?! Happy Friday to you too!

      Reply
  8. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen
    June 7, 2013 at 3:05 pm (4 years ago)

    Stepping back and taking an honest look can be scary, but so beneficial in the long run. Good on you for being so brave. It’s all about balance really, isn’t it? πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 6:31 pm (4 years ago)

      That’s so true, Lisa. Balance is key. It’s something I’ve always struggled with though. I guess recognising that is the first step πŸ™‚
      Thanks for dropping by.

      Reply
  9. Jodie@FreshHomeCook
    June 7, 2013 at 8:23 pm (4 years ago)

    Well said Renee! Good on you for becoming aware & being prepared to work towards a shift in your thinking! It’s hard & takes courage! I can really relate & am trying to transition myself in a similar way! It’s lovely to be able to share the journey!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Jodie πŸ™‚ It’s good to hear I’m not alone. It will make it all the more easier if we can all go travel this journey together. Have a great weekend!

      Reply
  10. Lisa Wood
    June 8, 2013 at 2:50 pm (4 years ago)

    Oh gosh you so could have been writing for me! My hubby is also David, and he also knows and is true to himself.
    This year I have stopped pleasing others, and I have stopped thinking about what others think of me – I am taking on board “Its None of my business What Others Think about Me” – its so very freeing!!!
    And I am discovering who I am – a Mum but also a person. And I lost myself – finding time to be me is now my goal, and finding time to get fit is also my goal
    Looking forward to following your journey.

    Reply
  11. mummywifeme
    mummywifeme
    June 8, 2013 at 8:49 pm (4 years ago)

    Thank you, Lisa. I am going to try to take ‘Its none of my business what others think about me’ onboard too. I spend way too much time wondering what everyone thinks and whether they like me. It’s exhausting!!! I’m glad you are able to rediscover yourself. Good luck for your journey too πŸ™‚

    Reply
  12. Emily @ Have a laugh on me
    June 9, 2013 at 10:34 am (4 years ago)

    I’m trying to be good to myself, but hard with three very needy kids- but I know I am being true to myself, when I can be. I just have to accept that for now I am more a mum than anything else and that is what I need to be just now, but it won’t be like this forever and I have come to accept that! Emily πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 9, 2013 at 6:35 pm (4 years ago)

      That’s a really great attitude Emily! Sometimes I feel like I want it all right now πŸ™‚ I need to remind myself just as you say that it won’t be like this forever.

      Reply
  13. Deb - An Inspirational Journey
    June 9, 2013 at 2:58 pm (4 years ago)

    I am so thrilled that I have come across your blog. I can relate to everything that you have said and I really look forward to reading more wonderful posts from you. I hope you will enjoy my blog too xxx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 9, 2013 at 6:32 pm (4 years ago)

      Gosh Deb! Thank you so much for your kind words! I’ve just checked out your blog. Talk about an inspirational journey. I look forward to following your journey too πŸ™‚

      Reply
  14. Author Bek Mugridge (@bekmugridge)
    June 9, 2013 at 7:16 pm (4 years ago)

    What a great mantra and a wonderful blog post.
    I realy enjoyed this and I love what Simone said above in the comments, I think it really sums it up XX

    Reply
  15. Grace
    June 9, 2013 at 10:23 pm (4 years ago)

    Very insightful. As hard as it can be sometimes to try and be true to yourself, there is a true sense of release when it happens.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 10, 2013 at 9:32 am (4 years ago)

      Thanks Grace. And thanks for dropping by πŸ™‚

      Reply
  16. Angie
    June 14, 2013 at 11:29 am (4 years ago)

    So true Renee. I’ve been going through a similar questioning activity lately. It is hard to be “selfish” when you have a young family as well. I put bunny ears around it because what I mean is putting yourself first! And another big question for me has been, if it’s good enough, is that enough? I wonder if this is something that we do when we become mums or if it’s a thirties thing….Hmmm good read Renee πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:38 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Angie πŸ™‚ That is such a good question. If it’s good enough, is that enough? Now, you’ve got me thinking again πŸ™‚

      Reply
  17. Lisa
    June 14, 2013 at 6:54 pm (4 years ago)

    Hi Renee, congrats on a wonderful post and being featured on the iblogFridays blogger list @ ivillage.com.au….being true to you is easier as you get older I think. I am not so concerned with following the crowd anymore, I worry about my family and respecting others if I don’t want to follow their crazy ideas. It is easier to say no to things, I just blame it on the kids ha ha

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 8:24 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha Lisa. Blame it on the kids, love it! Thanks for your congrats and congratulations to you too! Have a great weekend.

      Reply

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