I had a revelation this week. It hit me while I was thinking about what to write for my next post. It wasn’t a head smacking, light bulb revelation. It was a slow, fuzzy one that’s just starting to come into focus now.
With Mother’s Day upon us, I have been reflecting on my role as a mummy and what motherhood has taught me. And you know what? In these three short years that I’ve been a mum, it’s taught me a hell of a lot. This motherhood gig is really making me grow as a person. It may be slow, but it’s continual.
Some of you may have already realised how motherhood has changed you for the better. I think I’ve been a bit slow on the uptake. I fear I have been a little preoccupied mourning my pre-mummy life that it has prevented me from realising that I am evolving and have a whole new lot of awesome qualities emerging waving their jazz hands at me saying, ‘Ahh, hu-llllooo look at me’.
I thought I’d share with you some of the things I’m starting to discover about myself in this new-ish phase of my life. Who knows? It may get you thinking about how you have changed.
So here they are. My discoveries. My learnings. My musings. (Yes, I’ve created another list. Lists make me happy.)
- I’m more loved up than ever before. I know it’s cliche, but you don’t realise how much you can love someone until you have children. At times I feel like my heart will explode with the amount of love I have for my girls and little family. Even when Curly-locks told me yesterday that I had a big bum I just looked at her and smiled with adoration. Love. When I see Dave with the girls. Love. When I watch us together as a family. Love. Sweet, warm, love.
- I have the patience of a saint. These days patience is keeping my cool after a long day of battling the terrible twos and not flying off the handle when I discover Curly-locks has drawn all over my freshly painted walls while I’ve been bathing the baby. My patience has never been tested as much before as it is now and I think I manage pretty well. (The neighbours have only commented on the screaming once 😉 )
- I am the compromise Queen. My mother-in-law once said to me that relationships are about give and take. As a new parent, I quickly came to learn the importance of portraying a united front to our children. I also learnt that compromising with my husband, when our views on parenting sometimes seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, is the only way forward.
- I am far from selfish. My girls always come first and I would do absolutely anything for my little family. Before I was a mummy, my career came first. I was so keen to climb that corporate ladder and excel, excel, excel. Recently, I made the decision to extend my maternity leave to spend more time with my darlings. They need me now, my career can wait.
- R.E.S.P.E.C.T. I respect my husband’s courage to embark on a new career to support our family. I have a deeper respect for my parents now and what they gave up in their lives to ensure my sister, brother and I had the best upbringing possible. I also respect myself and my desire to be the best mother and wife I can be for this family when a lot of the time I feel I’m just too exhausted to even open my eyes.
- It’s so much easier to be happy than sad. As a mum, my time is precious. I decided not long ago that life is too short to surround myself with negative people. I have made a pledge to myself to only include in my life friends and family who have a positive influence on us.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Okay, so this one is definitely a work in progress. Anyone who knows me well will know this will be a difficult one for me to achieve. I’d like to say I’m making small steps in the right direction though. When Curly-locks fed Smiley strawberry jam the other day with her fingers, I barely flinched.
- Live for the now. This is another one that is a work in progress for me, but I am slowly but surely starting to recognise that I need to stop worrying so much. Who cares if the kids aren’t on the 7pm bedtime bus? Who cares if the house is a mess? The world isn’t going to end if I don’t stick to my regimented ways. I may spontaneously combust though if I keep trying to make everything perfect. I need to enjoy every single second of my daughters’ lives now while I have the chance. Living for the moment will help me do that.
I feel like I’ve only just scratched the surface here, but it’s a good start on my journey of rediscovery.
This Mother’s Day when I look into Curly-locks’ eyes and see them full of innocence and wonder and when I feel Smiley’s chubby little fingers tug on my hair while I’m feeding her, I am going to thank God for how lucky I am to have these children and to be fortunate enough to be able to grow as a person in ways I never thought possible.
How has being a mum changed you?