Kids jokes so bad – they’re funny

The girls consider themselves a pair of stand-up comedians at the moment.

It’s like living with Hamish and Andy as they spur each other on telling one ridiculous joke after another. The sillier, the better in their books. As far as Miss Three’s concerned, all jokes should incorporate an element of toilet talk. Nothing’s funnier than a bum or poo when you’re three, am I right?

Miss Five became intrigued with jokes around Christmas time. You know those corny ones you get out of the Christmas crackers? Ever since then, they’ve been telling jokes to each other until they’re rolling around on the floor laughing.

There’s one problem though. They haven’t quite mastered the art of joke telling. Their jokes are completely nonsensical and don’t have a punch line, but they’re just so ridiculous they are actually funny. Well, they are the first few times you hear them anyway …

Here’s a few samples of what I’m dealing with at the moment.

Joke #1

Miss Five: Why didn’t Barbie cross the road?

Miss Three: Because there was a red light?

Miss Five: No.

Miss Three: Because there was a green light?

Miss Five: Because there were clowns on the other side of the road and clowns are scary.

Joke #2

Miss Five: What do you call a camel with no humps?

Miss Three: A camel!

Miss Five: Pregnant!

Me: I think you mean a camel with three humps. (Thanks Zootopia)

Joke #3

Miss Five: Why did the orange cross the road?

Miss Three: Because he ranned out of juice.

Cue hysterical laughter.

Miss Three laughs so hard she passes wind.

Cue even more hysterical laughter.

Joke #4

Miss Five: Where does a fish keep his money?

Miss Three: In his handbag.

Miss Five: In the riverbank!

Me: Wait, what?! That was an actual joke.

Miss Five beams, although I’m about 90% sure she doesn’t understand the joke.

What do you think? Did you get a laugh? Perhaps their talent is in the delivery of the jokes and the confused banter they have between each other.

Regardless, our house is a pretty funny and happy place to be in right now and that’s exactly what we all need. Sure they still bicker, but it’s lovely to see some sunshine and light mixed in there too.

Are your kids into telling jokes? What’s yours or your kid’s favourite joke?

Linking up today with the ever-amazing EssentiallyJess.

47 comments on Kids jokes so bad – they’re funny

  1. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    April 26, 2016 at 12:40 pm (1 year ago)

    My kids tell each other the silliest jokes, and most involve farts, poo bums or bad cross the road jokes!!! Love that she laughed so hard she fluffed!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:52 am (1 year ago)

      Lol. I know! So funny. There’s nothing funnier than a fart or poo bum 🙂

      Reply
  2. Bec Senyard
    April 26, 2016 at 12:49 pm (1 year ago)

    This is so sweet. My girls got into the Christmas jokes too when the crackers were opened and they would laugh themselves silly even though they didn’t know what they were laughing about. I can definitely get a laugh out of them if we talk about poo or farts.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:53 am (1 year ago)

      Ahhh got to love toilet humour 🙂

      Reply
  3. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    April 26, 2016 at 1:17 pm (1 year ago)

    Kids are so funny, aren’t they?! The jokes they “tell” aren’t funny per se, but the things they say in real life are absolutely hilarious! They’re unintentional comedians!

    Reply
  4. Vanessa
    April 26, 2016 at 2:18 pm (1 year ago)

    I reckon the clown one has merit!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:53 am (1 year ago)

      Lol. Yes, it’s not bad 🙂

      Reply
  5. kit@lifethroughthehaze
    April 26, 2016 at 2:43 pm (1 year ago)

    My kids tell the worst jokes and can I tell you they aren’t getting any better as they get older!
    This is the current favs in the house (though it is also a dad joke!)

    What is brown and sticky?
    A stick

    How many elephants can fit in a mini?
    4 2 in the front and 2 in the back

    How do you know there has been an elephant in your fridge?
    1 set of footprints in the butter

    How do you know there has been 2 elephants in your fridge?
    2 sets of footprints in the butter

    How do you know there has been 3 elephants in your fridge?
    3 sets of footprints in the butter

    How do you know there has been 4 elephants in the fridge?
    There is an empty mini parked in the driveway.

    Ok I will leave it there.
    I apologise now.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:54 am (1 year ago)

      Lol. That is hilarious. I sense a theme there 🙂

      Reply
  6. Jo @ You had us at hello
    April 26, 2016 at 3:48 pm (1 year ago)

    Aren’t they the cutest! Yep! Our 4 year old has hit that poos and bums humour with his Kindy mates. I think it’s the unexpected passing of wind mid joke that sends them into fits of hysteria #alwaysawinner

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:54 am (1 year ago)

      I know right!! So funny 🙂

      Reply
  7. Janet Aka Middle Aged Mama
    April 26, 2016 at 4:45 pm (1 year ago)

    Joke 3 definitely made me laugh out loud, but then maybe that’s because I’m still in the developmental stage where bodily functions are hilarious … 😉

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:55 am (1 year ago)

      You crack me up, Janet 🙂

      Reply
  8. Toni @ Finding Myself Young
    April 26, 2016 at 5:19 pm (1 year ago)

    So cute! We’re not up to jokes yet {or poo fascination thankgod}, at the moment she’s just obsessed with narrating everything that’s happening on tv or in books. So watching house hunters is now a lot more interesting because we also have running commentary “look mummy its a biiiiiiig kitchen, and its a fridge, oh and a window, and a chair. Look that’s a bedroom, woooooow its a big barfroom… ohhh look a bath and a window” etc.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:55 am (1 year ago)

      Oh that is so cute, Toni.

      Reply
  9. JF Gibson
    April 26, 2016 at 5:51 pm (1 year ago)

    Oh that is hilarious! Miss now 7, went through a phase of making up jokes too. And they were the same – so bad, they were funny!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:56 am (1 year ago)

      I love it when they can laugh at themselves 🙂

      Reply
  10. Emily
    April 26, 2016 at 8:04 pm (1 year ago)

    Oh, I love this. Our kids are into jokes, too. Specifically, knock knock jokes. Ashleigh will say anything. Knock knock – Who’s there? – Banana – Banana who? – Ummmmmm, banana muffin! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Mitchell will just keep saying knock knock and then laughing at himself.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:56 am (1 year ago)

      Oh my God! That’s hilarious. So cute, Mitchell!

      Reply
  11. Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life
    April 26, 2016 at 9:33 pm (1 year ago)

    You definitely got a laugh out of me! And the fact your daughter passed wind because she laughed so hard, yes that me chortle more (I do have a tween son after all)!

    My son is only now starting to make up jokes that are actually funny word puns. Years ago he made them up and they were so unfunny and nonsensical that yes, they were funny in their own way. You have to love kids and their own made up jokes.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:57 am (1 year ago)

      I think it’s great they’re being so creative 🙂

      Reply
  12. Sam Stone
    April 26, 2016 at 10:06 pm (1 year ago)

    My daughter tells jokes….
    What did the ocean say to the boat?
    Nothing, it just waved.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:57 am (1 year ago)

      That’s a good one, Sam! I’ll have to tell the girls 🙂

      Reply
  13. Tegan
    April 26, 2016 at 10:50 pm (1 year ago)

    Mr 6 is telling jokes at the moment too. He loved the sloth in Zootopia too, and loves to act out the telling of the joke. I feel like Officer Hop after the 2nd or 3rd time lol!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      April 27, 2016 at 5:58 am (1 year ago)

      Hahahaha! I bet you do 🙂

      Reply
  14. Nicole @ The Builder's Wife
    April 27, 2016 at 6:34 am (1 year ago)

    Oh ny goodness, my kids still tell silly jokes and they are 12, 13, 14 and 15!!! And they are no better than the ones your daughters are sharing. 😂😂

    Reply
  15. Druimé
    April 27, 2016 at 11:17 am (1 year ago)

    He he he. Yep we have a pair of jokers too. It’s great when they get along !

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      May 3, 2016 at 9:39 pm (1 year ago)

      We have to cherish those moments 🙂

      Reply
  16. stephanie@stephsjoy
    April 27, 2016 at 11:35 am (1 year ago)

    I so get you about kid jokes. My little Man just laughs his head off at ‘jokes’ he tells apparently totally funny, so I guess I must have missed the punch lines!

    Reply
  17. Kylie Purtell
    April 27, 2016 at 3:22 pm (1 year ago)

    We haven’t reached the joke stage yet but I’m sure it’s not far off. Really not looking forward to it as it will just encourage Dave and his brothers to come up with more super lame jokes and puns and nobody needs to hear that (or the Beavis & Butthead style laughing that follows their lame jokes!).

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      May 3, 2016 at 9:40 pm (1 year ago)

      Lol. Yep, I can just imagine 🙂

      Reply
  18. Kathy
    April 27, 2016 at 8:13 pm (1 year ago)

    Oh, so sweet. And funny too.

    Reply
  19. EssentiallyJess
    May 1, 2016 at 8:07 pm (1 year ago)

    Oh that’s awesome! I like the last one.
    I find kids jokes painful sometimes. Especially knock knock jokes that just go on and on and on. There’s only so many times you can fake laugh.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      May 3, 2016 at 9:41 pm (1 year ago)

      Lol. I know right!!! It can get a little crazy when they carry on 🙂

      Reply
  20. Tash @ Gift Grapevine
    May 7, 2016 at 1:19 pm (1 year ago)

    My tornadoes have just discovered jokes too – I love their giggles but these jokes aren’t proper jokes. The first couple of times it’s sweet but inevitably, everything ends up being about poo or wee!! Miss T is especially fond of why did X cross the road jokes. I think a proper kids joke book might be in her stocking this Christmas (mostly for my sanity!) xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      May 12, 2016 at 1:13 pm (1 year ago)

      Yes, I’m keeping an eye out for an appropriate kids’ joke book 🙂 x

      Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      May 12, 2016 at 1:13 pm (1 year ago)

      Yes, I’m keeping an eye out for an appropriate kids’ joke book 🙂 x

      Reply

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