Little white lies

Me to Curly-locks: ‘Do you want salmon for dinner tonight, darling?’

Curly-locks whining: ‘I don’t like sal-monnnnnnnnnnn’.

Me: ‘Oh gosh, sorry, silly mummy, sheesh, it’s not salmon. It’s pink fish. Pink fish is what this is. Daddy ate all of that naughty salmon. Here, have some pink fish’.

Liar, liar pants on fire. Yep, that’s me. This is what motherhood has done to me. I just can’t help myself. The lies effortlessly trickle out of my mouth without a second thought.

Does that make me a compulsive liar, or just a mum with a volatile toddler on her hands doing what she can to get by?

I’m sure EVERYONE does it. My parents did it to me. It was only a couple of years ago that I found out one of their corkers. They had always told me my pet bird Tweety had flown away. He hadn’t. He drowned when his cage was left outside during a storm. DEVASTATED. They did what they thought was best at the time though to save me from some very serious upset.

I’m just doing the same thing, right?!

Anyway, without further ado, for a bit of Friday fun, here are the few lies I’ve found myself spinning this week.

  1. I know right? It’s crazy. Such a big packet, but only five Tiny Teddies in it.
  2. Your Aunty just sent me a message and said your little cousin’s asleep, so you better get to sleep too.
  3. Curly-locks: ‘What are you eating, Mummy?’
    Me shoving the remaining Tiny Teddies into my mouth while hiding behind the kitchen bench (yes, I know I’m on a sugar detox): ‘Apple. Want some?’
  4. Curly-locks screaming: ‘Mummy, the seatbelt’s too tight’.
    Me pretending to loosen it: ‘There, that’s better’.
  5. Ahh what a shame. The TV’s not working. We’ll have to get Daddy to fix it. No Dora today πŸ™

Do you tell little white lies to keep the peace at your house? What are your favourites?

33 comments on Little white lies

  1. Leanne Winter
    June 14, 2013 at 6:35 am (4 years ago)

    “No, Sweetheart, I haven’t seen that stupid, I mean great, toy that came in the Happy Meal, anywhere. Will let you know if I find it, though”. Yep, we all do it.

    Reply
  2. mummywifeme
    mummywifeme
    June 14, 2013 at 6:40 am (4 years ago)

    Haha. Good one, Leanne πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. Kelly
    June 14, 2013 at 7:58 am (4 years ago)

    “No sweetie, I can’t fix Spider-Man right now. Super glue only works at night time.”

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:36 pm (4 years ago)

      Brilliant, Kelly! Absolutely brilliant. Evil laugh.

      Reply
  4. Kelly
    June 14, 2013 at 8:10 am (4 years ago)

    “No sweetie, I can’t repair your Spider-Man right now. Super glue only works at night time.”

    Reply
  5. Steph
    June 14, 2013 at 8:34 am (4 years ago)

    Haha. This made me laugh. When I was a kid we had a pet sheep who ‘disappeared’, and suddenly we had a new rug (and a freezer full of meat). Dad told us She had been run over by a steam roller! Still up setting and slightly suessical but better than the reality I guess! We called the rug ‘Elizabeth’ in her honour :). Parents huh?!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 8:57 am (4 years ago)

      OMG! Steph!! Poor Elizabeth. Thanks for the morning giggle πŸ™‚

      Reply
  6. Amanda @ Cooker and a Looker
    June 14, 2013 at 8:36 am (4 years ago)

    Pink fish? You’re a genius Renee – anything pink gets superstar status in our house. I can’t think of any lies I’ve told this week – no doubt I’ve told them, I just lie so fluently these days I didn’t notice! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 8:58 am (4 years ago)

      Haha yes, they just roll off the tongue don’t they?! I can’t take the credit for pink fish. It was either my sister or my mum who invented it. It sure does the trick for us πŸ™‚

      Reply
  7. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    June 14, 2013 at 9:14 am (4 years ago)

    Yep. All do it. That’s not meat darling … it’s ham; The kangaroo is sleeping on the side of the road; I can’t find the Telly Tubbies DVD, let’s do Wiggles instead.
    If it’s any consolation you don’t lie so much as they get older. In fact … that can be even harder … telling them the cold hard facts of life rather than “kidifying” it for them.
    Happy Friday!
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 10:18 am (4 years ago)

      I’m pretty sure my mum tried the ‘that’s not meat darling .. it’s ham’ one on me πŸ™‚ Hmm yeah I didn’t think about how hard it will be when they get older. I’ll enjoy these little white lies while I can πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  8. Lydia C. Lee
    June 14, 2013 at 10:26 am (4 years ago)

    With food, we used to do it all the time – cous cous was Madagascan rice. ham was pink meat. I forget the rest, but there were many!!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:27 pm (4 years ago)

      Madagascan rice! How unusual. Very creative πŸ™‚ I’m loving all of these!

      Reply
  9. Janet @ Redland City Living
    June 14, 2013 at 12:00 pm (4 years ago)

    Ha ha when I was a kid we all devoured Mum’s chicken pie and even had second helpings – until she revealed it was actually tuna!!!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:25 pm (4 years ago)

      Lol. The old tuna is chicken trick eh! Very sneaky πŸ™‚

      Reply
  10. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen
    June 14, 2013 at 12:20 pm (4 years ago)

    Yep, we absolutely all do it Renee! When I was little our 2 cats went to the farm, I later found out it was the big farm in the sky. Sometimes it’s kinder, I think.
    i LOVE how you only got 5 tiny teddies in such a big packet! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:25 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Lisa πŸ™‚ Yes, I totally agree. Sometimes it really is kinder πŸ™‚

      Reply
  11. Katyberry
    June 14, 2013 at 1:00 pm (4 years ago)

    “I hate chicken, I won’t eat it”
    “Fine, what do you like”
    “fish”
    “Well that’s lucky, it turns out that this isn’t chicken after all. it’s fish. Eat up”

    Stupidly, this actually works. I’d like to point out my children get their smarts from their father.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:26 pm (4 years ago)

      Hahaha! I love it πŸ™‚

      Reply
  12. robyn @slightly deep
    June 14, 2013 at 1:55 pm (4 years ago)

    Ha!! I love this! Today I *may* have said “No Darling, you won’t like Mummy’s dessert, it’s too spicy” Because I just didn’t want to share, and I know my daughter understands spicy πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 1:56 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha nice one, I’m definitely going to try that πŸ™‚

      Reply
  13. Melanie
    June 14, 2013 at 3:01 pm (4 years ago)

    Ha ha! I love this. I was just speaking about this exact topic with my sister two days ago. We were both telling a white lie to our kids so they wouldn’t steal the last chocolate biscuit. It dawned on me that I am telling more white lies than ever before. I used to try really hard not to lie but now it seems, well, only natural!? My most frequently used “white lie with a little bit of truth” is that if she watches too much TV her brain will shink…same for needing sleep. She got a little scared of that one though. Oops.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 3:02 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha! I haven’t tried that brain shrinking one. Am definitely going to use it! Thanks for dropping by πŸ™‚

      Reply
  14. Prue Gilfillan
    June 14, 2013 at 4:08 pm (4 years ago)

    HILARIOUS!! And genius. I’m pretty sure I’ll be using some or all of these πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 14, 2013 at 8:25 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Prue πŸ™‚ Happy to help πŸ˜‰

      Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 15, 2013 at 9:36 pm (4 years ago)

      Lol. Yes, I’ve used that one a few times πŸ™‚

      Reply
  15. Kaz @ Melting Moments
    June 16, 2013 at 3:32 pm (4 years ago)

    These made me smile πŸ™‚ I call fish fingers, chicken sticks because she doesn’t like fish! hehe!

    Reply
  16. Tahlia - the parenting files
    June 16, 2013 at 9:51 pm (4 years ago)

    White lies..all the time. I am still trying convince my three year old that fish is chicken x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 16, 2013 at 10:14 pm (4 years ago)

      Lol. That seems to be a popular one πŸ™‚ Thanks for dropping in!

      Reply
  17. Emily @ Have a laugh on me
    June 17, 2013 at 2:55 pm (4 years ago)

    Ha ha Renee, I tell so many I can’t remember them all – my favourite is telling my kids ‘that the sign says you’re not allowed to jump on the bed or else mummy will go to jail’ – it can be changed for whatever circumstance really πŸ™‚ Emily

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      June 17, 2013 at 8:03 pm (4 years ago)

      You’re a genius, Emily. I’m definitely going to use that one πŸ™‚

      Reply

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