Living life with greater confidence and positivity

The afternoon I received a phone call congratulating me on winning a job I’d applied for, I felt giddy with excitement, pride and confidence.

This was the change I had been working toward for most of the year. I’d done it. I’d taken a big, bold step out of my comfort zone and I felt for the first time in a long time that I was winning at life.

The rush of adrenalin and thrill of the phone call lasted for all of five minutes before the punch in the stomach and the slap in the face came.

Fear and self-doubt weaseled their way into my mind, until I became so overwhelmed with negative thoughts I wanted to vomit.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing, Renee?’

‘You can’t do this!’

‘You’re not smart enough.’

‘Why are you walking away from a great job, good pay and colleagues you love?’

‘Have you completely lost your mind?’

That bitch of an inner voice pummeled me blow after blow until I seriously considered declining the job offer. Fortunately, after a good night’s sleep and a pep talk from Dave and myself, I was able to dust myself off and re-frame those negative thoughts.

It wasn’t easy though. When you start down a negative path, it can be hard to turn back.

I’m often told what a positive person I am, and I am. I’m very positive. I’m good at cheering people on, raising them up and doing what I can to make people feel happy. Being positive about my own life and cheering myself on is something I constantly need to work at.

More often than not, especially at this busy time of year and while I’m adjusting to a new job and building a freelance business on the side, I can be overcome with negativity and self-doubt. It can be a full-blown battle some days to break myself out of the downward spiral.

A confident heart
When life-coach Carla Da Costa’s book A Confident Heart – a guide to living life with greater confidence & positivity landed in my lap, I may have squealed.

I love self-help books and this one looked like just the ticket to help me get my confidence back on track (if it ever was on track – oops there’s that negativity again). I was desperate to see if Carla had the key to cracking my confidence woes.

A Confident Heart is a 38-page pep talk encouraging you to live the life you want filled with positivity and confidence. If you’ve ever battled with confidence or have found yourself struggling through a negative period of your life, A Confident Heart can help you get back on track.

Carla suggests locking yourself away for a few hours to work through her book, but I wanted to take my time with it and sit with my thoughts. I read it over a few early mornings and I tell you what, it was the perfect way to start my day.

The book encouraged me to look at each area of my life, from relationships to health, money and career, and think about how I felt about each area. A Confident Heart helped me to work through my negativity and to think about what I wanted for myself. Carla challenged me to visualise what I could gain from making a positive change.

A Confident Heart felt like a good chat with an old friend. A friend who has been there before and knows what it’s like to live with low confidence.

A Confident Heart gave me the wake up call I needed to quit it with the negativity and self-doubt. Re-framing negative thoughts is something that I need to work on daily, but with Carla’s help I feel like I’m moving in the right direction.

2016 has been a big year of change for me. A year where I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone, changed my life focus and thrown myself into new challenges. I have spent very little time reflecting on where I’m going and how far I’ve come. In my usual way, I have been head down, bum up hardly coming up for air. A Confident Heart gave me the chance to reflect, refocus and find the light again.

With the end of the year rapidly approaching, now is the perfect time to reflect on the year that was and what you want from 2017 and beyond. If you need a gentle push in the right direction to live the life you want, make sure you put A Confident Heart on your Christmas wish list.

Do you battle with confidence issues? Is your inner voice a mean old cow or is she your best mate? How do you remain positive in life?

Mummy Wife Me received a copy of A Confident Heart in exchange for this review. As always, all opinions are my own.

Linking up today with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.

44 comments on Living life with greater confidence and positivity

  1. inthegoodbooksblog
    November 29, 2016 at 5:04 am (6 months ago)

    I constantly battle the inner voice! I’m so glad to hear that you didn’t give it to yours though!! This book sounds like a great resource.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:04 pm (6 months ago)

      It really is, Michelle 🙂

      Reply
  2. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    November 29, 2016 at 5:40 am (6 months ago)

    So pleased you listened to your heart and to Dave and not your nasty inner voice. Most of the time my inner voice and I are on good terms, but when it doesn’t play nice, I’ve learned to block out the nasty. I think we all need a confidence boost now and again, and this sounds just the ticket. Plus, I love that it’s a short read – so much more achievable!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:04 pm (6 months ago)

      Yes, it’s very achievable and not overwhelming at all. Go you with the positive attitude 🙂

      Reply
  3. Adam Edwardson
    November 29, 2016 at 5:41 am (6 months ago)

    Congrats on your new job Ren! I also love self help books, taming tigers by Jim lawless is well worth a look and will change your relationship with fear. It’s interesting stuff. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:20 pm (6 months ago)

      Wow! That sounds really cool, Adam. Thanks for the tip. I’ll check it out.

      Reply
  4. Amy @ HandbagMafia
    November 29, 2016 at 5:46 am (6 months ago)

    Ah yes. Impostor syndrome. I wrote on it a while back. That inner voice that knows you aren’t qualified or capable. I hate that voice!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:21 pm (6 months ago)

      I think I remember that post. Yep, that voice is a major pain in the butt.

      Reply
  5. Lydia C. Lee
    November 29, 2016 at 5:50 am (6 months ago)

    I’ve written a bit about this. I think, if your inner voice talks to you in a way that you would never speak to anyone else, then you have to demand that it stops. A simple ‘I don’t have time for this today’ will have to do. No one should steal your shine, especially not yourself.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:06 pm (6 months ago)

      That’s such great advice!!! I need to remember that next time the negativity kicks in.

      Reply
  6. Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection
    November 29, 2016 at 5:52 am (6 months ago)

    It’s funny how when you work hard to get something, then you finally get it, you doubt why you deserve it. Hmmm. The book sound like my kind of book though. #teamIBOT

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:06 pm (6 months ago)

      I think you’d really like it, Natalie 🙂

      Reply
  7. Jody at Six Little Hearts
    November 29, 2016 at 5:55 am (6 months ago)

    Congratulations on the job! So sorry to hear that your confidence immediately waned. This read sounds fab. All the best from here.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:07 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks Jody. I hope all is well at your end.

      Reply
  8. Robyna | The Mummy & The Minx
    November 29, 2016 at 5:56 am (6 months ago)

    That sounds exactly like the kind of book I need. I too am very good at building up all the people around me and managing to self-sabotage.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:07 pm (6 months ago)

      It’s funny how that happens, isn’t it?!!

      Reply
  9. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    November 29, 2016 at 5:57 am (6 months ago)

    I often get that voice. That voice that says “who do you think you are? What makes you think you can to do this?”
    Then I think to myself, what would I say to my child right now? What would I say to my best friend?

    I think it’s good to remind ourselves that we are our own inner child and we are our own best friends so we should speak to ourselves as we would to them.

    Thanks for the reminder!! When it comes to his magazine I’m creating (see today’s post) I’ve been having doubts. Today I will release my inner cheerleader …

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:11 pm (6 months ago)

      Your new mag sounds soooo exciting, Leanne. I can’t wait to hear more about it. I think that’s great advice. I’ll remember that for next time.

      Reply
  10. JF Gibson
    November 29, 2016 at 6:22 am (6 months ago)

    Woo hoo on the job Renee! This has been a huge year for you stepping outside your comfort zone, I’m so proud of you. I have no doubt 2017 has even bigger and better things lined up for you. xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:11 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks for your support as always xx

      Reply
  11. Nicole @ The Builder's Wife
    November 29, 2016 at 6:51 am (6 months ago)

    My inner voice is a mega bitch. I just had a fight with her this morning. She needed a stern talking to! Sounds like this is the book for me.xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:12 pm (6 months ago)

      Oh what a cow she is, Nicole. I hope she was nice for the rest of the day x

      Reply
  12. Deb @inner compass designs
    November 29, 2016 at 7:01 am (6 months ago)

    Congrats on the job. That is fabulous and exciting. Trust in those who said yes to you even when you doubt yourself. That is nerves talking. You can do it xxx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:12 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks Deb! Great advice xx

      Reply
  13. Vanessa
    November 29, 2016 at 11:16 am (6 months ago)

    The book sounds like a nice gift perhaps, too. A boost for a new year.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:13 pm (6 months ago)

      It would be a perfect Xmas gift!

      Reply
  14. Emily
    November 29, 2016 at 11:57 am (6 months ago)

    That voice was in my head when I got this job, too. What are you doing? You haven’t worked in an office for more than six years! You can’t do this job! You’ve forgotten everything! You’ll miss the kids too much! Pick-up will be too stressful! JUST SAY NO!

    So glad you said yes, and so glad I did too. I think. I start on Monday. Ask me in a month. 😉 x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:14 pm (6 months ago)

      Oh Em!!! Good luck! Make sure you take some time out for you on the weekend. I’ll be thinking of you. You’ll totally nail it! xx

      Reply
  15. Melinda
    November 29, 2016 at 12:05 pm (6 months ago)

    Well done on taking that step and nailing it! I self sabotage myself all the time but I’m getting better at not listening to that stupid doubting inner voice.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:14 pm (6 months ago)

      It’s a real art form and takes plenty of practice.

      Reply
  16. Kylie Purtell
    November 29, 2016 at 12:13 pm (6 months ago)

    Just bought it. This is exactly what I need right now. I think I may even wrap it and give it to myself on Christmas morning so I can start 2017 off right!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:15 pm (6 months ago)

      Oh yay, Kylie!!! That’s awesome. You’ll love it.

      Reply
  17. Emily Toxward
    November 29, 2016 at 12:30 pm (6 months ago)

    What an exciting year you have ahead of you Ren, I can’t wait to follow your awesome progress xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:15 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks lovely, and I can’t wait to follow yours x

      Reply
  18. Ashlea Kerr
    November 29, 2016 at 12:46 pm (6 months ago)

    Congrats – go you! Never doubt yourself, you were obviously the best person for the job:) Love the sound of this book, will take a look at it xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:16 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks Ashlea. Too kind xx

      Reply
  19. Bec Senyard
    November 29, 2016 at 12:46 pm (6 months ago)

    It’s a gorgeous book Renee. I’m so glad it helped you. Gosh, I miss seeing you more. It’s been a crazy busy year for all of us. But I’m so proud of the how you’ve navigated changed and I can’t wait to see what 2017 has in store for you lovely. Your Dave is a good man too. I love how he calms you and helps you see how awesome you truly are. xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:17 pm (6 months ago)

      Thanks so much for your lovely words, Bec. Looking forward to catching up next week xx

      Reply
  20. Seana Smith
    November 29, 2016 at 8:50 pm (6 months ago)

    Hello Renee, that is good news, the new job. 2017 will bring changes, and that always means growth… and ups and downs, but life’s full of ’em.

    Generally I am pretty confident in life, you know I think more so since I turned 50. I really think often of being in my 50’s, I’ve seen and done a LOT of things. Having a hard time with teenagers at the moment, but am actually dealing with it OK, staying calm and also doing a lot of self care.

    Which helps with the sleepless nights! I have had some real down moments and lots of regrets but they don’t last as long as they used to. This book sounds great, always excellent to have a pep talk.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:20 pm (6 months ago)

      It sure is! I can imagine staying calm with teenagers is quite the task! Glad you’re able to remain confident and positive despite the ups and downs.

      Reply
  21. Karin @ Calm to Conniption
    November 29, 2016 at 9:17 pm (6 months ago)

    Oh our old inner critic is a nasty bitch isn’t she. Congratulations on the new job and change. It is often hard to remember but we are the ones that set our own path. Jump and the net will appear. You will have it in the bag!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 29, 2016 at 9:22 pm (6 months ago)

      Great advice, Karin. Love it!

      Reply
  22. Maxabella
    December 2, 2016 at 2:02 pm (6 months ago)

    I think all of us have those inner mean girls, slapping us down when we’re up. We are all worried about not being good enough. I tend to hear those meanies and tell them to STFU and do it anyway. The louder voice in my head always calls out, “Why not me?”

    Reply
    • Maxabella
      December 2, 2016 at 2:03 pm (6 months ago)

      PS – Well done on your new job too!

      Reply

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