The week that sucked

Last week sucked in an epic kind of way.

That’s sounds a little dramatic, doesn’t it?

Let me rephrase. Last week was hard … and strange … and exhausting all mixed together. It was one of those weeks where you’re feeling all the feels and you’re just clinging on for dear life because you think if one more sucky thing happens you’ll just completely lose it and end up on the floor in a ball. The straw that breaks the camel’s back and all that.

I really don’t want to be dramatic because my life is good. It is really good. And I have friends who are going through unbearable pain at the moment and I don’t want to take away from that.

It was simply a week that threw some curve balls at me when I was already feeling exhausted from taking on too much.

After just four hours’ sleep on Wednesday night, I resigned from my second job. (Yes, I know. I am completely nuts. For some reason I thought I could hold down two jobs, two kids, one husband, a blog and a Jamberry business. No wonder I’m exhausted.)

The decision to resign came less than a day after I was telling a friend how much I love the job. And then something happened which flicked a switch inside me and I was out. I said goodbye to the job and to that dream.

As I battled with my decision in the days following, I watched as my wee girl, Smiley, became sicker and sicker. She’d been vomiting since Wednesday night – hence me having just four hours’ sleep.

When her poor little body wasn’t shaking, she was lying on the floor moaning. It was a battle to get her to take in any fluids and when she did they came back up.

As I looked into her sunken eyes on Saturday morning and held her limp body in my arms, I knew she needed more care than I could give her.

I sped off to the hospital where I was told her chemistry results were not good and she needed to have some fluids and stay overnight.

I surprised myself with how calm I was in hospital.

I brushed her hair back and sang to her as the doctor fumbled to insert the cannula into her tiny hand and then her arm. I soothed her as she moaned in pain and cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep on my chest.

As she slept on my chest, I reached for my lifeline – my phone. The shit of a thing that I’m so addicted to and spend so much time on. I keyed in my passcode and the phone flickered and died. I was cut off.

There I was alone with my thoughts, trapped with nowhere to go.

You know what?

While last week sucked, it was also kind of awesome. It was awesome because somehow in between the ups and downs of emotions I experienced, I was able to get some clarity.

While my poor sick girl lay on my chest, I was able to take some deep breaths, calm down, and remind myself that I’ve got this.

I recognised that pushing myself to the extreme day in and day out wasn’t doing myself or my family any favours. (By pushing myself to the extreme, I mean working more hours in the day than I was actually sleeping.) I’d worked myself into such a frenetic state that even the smallest of things were impacting me in a major way.

I’ve resolved to take the next few months as slowly as I can. My health and my family’s health and wellbeing are the most important things to me. Somehow I lost sight of that for a little while, but I’m back with a new focus and am working on regaining my lost energy too.

It’s time to be kind to me and to trust in myself.

(Just a quick word of thanks to my friends/family who were by my side last week. Particular shout outs go to the friend who doesn’t mind a bit of swearing and to my mum who puts up with my crankiness).

Are you being kind to you? How are you going at the moment? Are you feeling happy, sad, crazy – all of the above. What’s on your mind?

Linking up today with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

66 comments on The week that sucked

  1. Lydia C. Lee
    December 1, 2015 at 6:11 am (2 years ago)

    Good for you for making that call. I think celebrate you could give up what you wanted to do, knowing that ultimately it was too much.Hopefully, when the time is right, you can go back to it….

    Reply
  2. Mandy
    December 1, 2015 at 6:13 am (2 years ago)

    Oh Renee, big hugs to you. What a tough week. I think us women tend to push ourselves a bit; I used to have a newborn and take on so many projects that I had to wake up at 430am every morning to work and then go to bed at 1am at night. I was just perpetually worn out and cranky! Then I paused for a period of time and wondered why I even thought I could juggle all that at once. I hope you have a good rest and a much better week xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:39 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Mandy. Those hours are very similar to what I was doing. It had to stop x

      Reply
  3. Amy @ HandbagMafia
    December 1, 2015 at 6:15 am (2 years ago)

    That sounds like a hell of a week Renee. I hope this one is better. Total aside but I ironed my dress for the Kidspot gala the other day. Took ages as I have no idea and I thought of you and giggled and thought I must tell you!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:40 am (2 years ago)

      Lol! That’s awesome, Amy. Thanks for putting a smile on my dial 🙂

      Reply
  4. Min@WriteoftheMiddle
    December 1, 2015 at 6:49 am (2 years ago)

    Oh Renee, that sure does sound like a sucky week you had! I hope your little girl is much better now? Please do take good care of yourself. Wiping yourself out working is a big mistake that I learned a bit too late and I paid a price for it. It’s important to try and get a good balance – work, family, me time! xo

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:41 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Min. I see so many similarities between you and me. I feel I can really learn from you. x

      Reply
  5. Kathy
    December 1, 2015 at 7:00 am (2 years ago)

    That’s a shocking week Renee but it sounds like Smiley and you both were ‘out for the count’ so that things could change. Slower is nearly always better. Take care of yourself. X

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:41 am (2 years ago)

      Yes, I think you’re right. Thanks Kathy x

      Reply
  6. Shauna
    December 1, 2015 at 7:13 am (2 years ago)

    Oh I know exactly how you feel and so sad to hear how sick your poor little girl has been.

    I made a vow about a month a go to slow down. I started saying no to things…mainly social…inspired by a couple of blog posts I’d read actually! I just felt that my kids were missing out on their Mum. I’m feeling much better for it!

    Christmas and the lead up to it is always manic! But not this year for me. I’m making a deliberate plan to keep it simple.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:42 am (2 years ago)

      That is awesome, Shauna. Good on you!

      Reply
  7. Deb @inner compass designs
    December 1, 2015 at 7:20 am (2 years ago)

    Big hugs for everything but it sounds like it all led you exactly where you need to be. Enjoy slowing down and regrouping lovely xxxx

    Reply
  8. Mumma McD
    December 1, 2015 at 7:53 am (2 years ago)

    Hope Smiley is much better now. Sounds like you’ve made the right decision for you and the family x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:43 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Mumma McD. Everyone is doing better now 🙂 x

      Reply
  9. Lauren @ Create Bake Make
    December 1, 2015 at 7:54 am (2 years ago)

    What a shit week you’ve had but I’m so glad you’ve come out of it with clarity and a new sense of focus. 2016 is going to be amazing for you xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:44 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks sweetheart. Thanks for your support as always x

      Reply
  10. Janice Jones
    December 1, 2015 at 8:45 am (2 years ago)

    Hi Renee you are a wonder woman And you know the saying Good Will Come Yes your good will come ditch the stress Look after you and your gogeous family We have your back You really are a very Brave Mumma 🙂

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:44 am (2 years ago)

      You are so sweet and kind, Janice. I know where your daughter gets it from. xx

      Reply
  11. Peachy Keen Mumma
    December 1, 2015 at 9:04 am (2 years ago)

    I really understand this. My month of October and half of November were like this. Definitely the crying on the floor in a ball kinda moments.
    It’s incredibly hard to keep anything together with a sick child and sleep deprivation. Every time I come out the other side a bit shell shocked but still alive – I’m a little surprised. haha!
    I’m sorry your little one was so ill she had to go to hospital. That’s so rough.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:45 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Jess. She’s improved a lot x

      Reply
  12. Michaela Fox
    December 1, 2015 at 9:15 am (2 years ago)

    Great idea to take the next few months slowly. I know those kind of weeks intimately. What I have found really useful is to share my vulnerability. To ask friends for help. To recognise I need to slow down. And to go easy on myself. Take good care x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:46 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Michaela. I find sharing my vulnerability really helps too xx

      Reply
  13. Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers
    December 1, 2015 at 9:27 am (2 years ago)

    Sorry you had such a shitty week Renee but like you say, sometimes it is the kick in the teeth we need to make changes. Hope your little lady is feeling better!

    Reply
  14. Raychael aka Mystery Case
    December 1, 2015 at 9:53 am (2 years ago)

    Sorry to hear about your week and your sick daughter. I’m much like you at the moment. Exhausted and a bit teary and needing time out. It’s been a tough week, most of which was spent at my daughter’s bedside in intensive care following surgery. She is home now and I’m doing the 24/7 care while she continues to recover and I’m existing on a few hours sleep. Something I’m use to doing but this time round, I suppose the stress of seeing my daughter in pain and discomfort, not too mention all the bleeding and bruising has just been a tad much.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:48 am (2 years ago)

      Oh Raychael! That is dreadful and I really feel for you. You must be mentally and physically exhausted. I’m glad to hear your daughter is improving. I hope you get some much deserved rest soon xx

      Reply
  15. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    December 1, 2015 at 10:42 am (2 years ago)

    I am in the EXACT same boat after a week away. I have been busting my gut and stressing and no enjoying my life/kids for what?? So it’s GO SLOW here too. Sad glad your princess is okay now hun. Here’s to a less stressful 2016 – do I hear a resolution?? xxx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:49 am (2 years ago)

      Yes, definitely a resolution! I hope you can continue to go slow for as long as possible and hang onto that holiday vibe xx

      Reply
  16. Eva @ The Multitasking Woman
    December 1, 2015 at 10:59 am (2 years ago)

    I’m so sorry to hear about Smiley…I hope she’s doing ok now. You’re right, family is definitely priority and I’m certain you’ve made the best decision. Always here if you need a chat. xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:49 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Eva. You’re an awesome friend xx

      Reply
  17. Sasha @ From the Left Field
    December 1, 2015 at 11:06 am (2 years ago)

    That sounds like a horror week you poor thing. But sometimes it’s those ick weeks that give us the jolt we need to get back on track with where we really want to be. I think we stretch ourselves way too far these days. Says me who is doing the same as you- juggling 3 jobs, the blogging, family etc. We are all crazy! I hope you get some time to slow down and your cherub is feeling better. x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 5:50 am (2 years ago)

      Oh my goodness! I hope you’re not wearing yourself too thin either. Three jobs is pretty darn full on. Take care.

      Reply
  18. JF Gibson
    December 1, 2015 at 11:24 am (2 years ago)

    It’s funny how some things in life bring such perspective isn’t it? I hope Smiley is much better, and you too. Now you can relax, enjoy the things that matter and take that next step forward. We all have to hit a wall at some point, and those who stop, rub it and realise change is needed are the ones who prosper. Enjoy slowing down for the next few months. I know there’s big things ahead for you, big good things, but small and meaningful at the same time. xxx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:11 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Jodi. I’m definitely rubbing that wall 🙂 xx

      Reply
  19. Nicole@ The Builders Wife
    December 1, 2015 at 11:58 am (2 years ago)

    I think your week more than sucked, BUT what a great highlight to come from it. Do take care of yourself, nothing is more important than our health. I’m so glad that Smiley is feeling better. Hope you’ve had some rest yourself. xxx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:12 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Nicole. I hope you’re having a good week x

      Reply
  20. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    December 1, 2015 at 12:26 pm (2 years ago)

    “It’s time to be kind to me and to trust in myself”. That line says it all!

    Reply
  21. Kelly
    December 1, 2015 at 1:05 pm (2 years ago)

    Yep, those weeks suck balls. I hope everything works out for you. And that your little girl is no longer sick. Take some time out for yourself 🙂

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:14 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Kelly. She’s doing well now 🙂

      Reply
  22. Emily
    December 1, 2015 at 1:46 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh Renee, you poor thing. Hugs to you and your munchkins. You don’t need to temper this post with ‘life is good, others have it worse’. You’re allowed to be upset about last week! IT SUCKED.
    x Hugs to you. #teamIBOT

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:15 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks lovely. You’ve had quite a week yourself. Hope that knee is improving xx

      Reply
  23. Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad
    December 1, 2015 at 2:41 pm (2 years ago)

    Um, yep, that was a dramatic week! You don’t need to pretend otherwise or apologise. Poor little Smiley! Nothing worse than having a wee sick one. I hope she is gathering her strength now. I can’t see how you resigning from your second job which was just pushing you over the line, will be a bad thing. A slower pace can only bring goodness for now xx

    Reply
  24. Bec
    December 1, 2015 at 3:37 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh Renee, watching your sick child in hospital is right up there with the worst parenting moments. Good on you for taking stock and shedding a few things. One day we’ll figure out how to live two lives at once!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:17 am (2 years ago)

      Lol. Yes, it’s a bit like that, isn’t it?! 🙂 x

      Reply
  25. Lucy @ Bake Play Smile
    December 1, 2015 at 3:49 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh I’m so glad your little possum is better now. And good on you for making some big decisions. I really don’t know how on earth you do it all!!

    Reply
  26. Lauren - Gold Coast Mum
    December 1, 2015 at 4:17 pm (2 years ago)

    Glad your lil Miss is feeling better. It’s so scary when they’re not well. Hope the next few weeks are full of sunshine and happiness for you x

    Reply
  27. Hugzilla
    December 1, 2015 at 5:30 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh man, what a shit week. I’m a big believer in getting rid of things when everything gets too exhausting and overwhelming. Hopefully this will open up some space for you to breathe and recover from the crappy week that was x

    Reply
  28. Bec Senyard
    December 1, 2015 at 5:50 pm (2 years ago)

    Sweet, you have had the most crappiest week but you’ve shone through and made some really good decisions. I love that you got clarity despite smiley being so sick. I hope she’s on the mend and I hope you can keep your chin up and enjoy the beautiful family you have. Xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:19 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks so much for your support as always x

      Reply
  29. EssentiallyJess
    December 1, 2015 at 7:59 pm (2 years ago)

    It’s funny how sometimes you need one crapper of a day to make you realise things have to change.
    You do so much so well Renee; I take my hat off to you. Please do be kind to yourself. You’re worth it. x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      December 3, 2015 at 6:19 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Jess. That means a lot 🙂 x

      Reply
  30. Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    December 1, 2015 at 8:28 pm (2 years ago)

    Poor little smiley. There is nothing like having a child in hospital to make you realise the rest of the world really isn’t that important xxx

    Reply
  31. Lisa
    December 1, 2015 at 10:04 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh was a terrible week. Hope she feels better soon. (And you too, be kind to yourself lovely lady)

    Reply
  32. Lara at This Charming Mum
    December 2, 2015 at 5:44 am (2 years ago)

    Oh, all kinds of things change in your mind when you have a sick little one I reckon. It’s ALL about them when they really, truly need you like that and it gives you a big old dose of perspective. Wishing you some healthy, healing family time in the weeks ahead and best wishes with your work decisions x

    Reply
  33. Zanni Hacska
    December 4, 2015 at 11:09 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh hon. I saw your little one was sick. So hard. So emotional. Sometimes we have to get to the brink to see clearly, and have it all in perspective. I hope you are ok. It sounds like you’ve made some hard and necessary decisions. Big love to you. xxx

    Reply
  34. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    December 5, 2015 at 5:30 am (2 years ago)

    I’m so sorry your little one was so sick, there is nothing like a hospital visit to put your life in perspective. I’m so pleased that you’ve managed to take some things off your plate and hope that you can juggle what’s left to work best for you. Remember, you are important, and so is taking care of yourself. It’s a bit like when you’re on a plane and you have to put your oxygen mask on first, because if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of others. You know you’re worth it! Here’s to a week of kicking arse and smiley faces!

    Reply

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