Me time for dads

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As I watched my husband, Dave, slogging away in the yard full of cold, I begged him to come inside and take a break.

dave-metime

He and the kids have been battling colds, viruses, infections – you name it, since winter reared its miserable head, yet he refuses to sit still and let his body mend.

There is no such thing as man flu as far as Dave’s concerned. He powers on without a complaint claiming that sweating it out in the yard will do him good.

He’s working huge hours in front of the computer during the week rarely getting home in time to kiss his babes goodnight and in his ‘spare’ time on the weekend, just for kicks, he likes to build decks and retaining walls, and do a spot of landscaping.

The guy never stops.

It struck me the other day that while I’m always banging on about ‘me time’ and ensuring I indulge in daily self-care to help me be a better, happier, healthier and more patient mum and wife, I can’t remember the last time Dave did the same.

Seriously Dave, when it comes to taking time out for yourself, you ain’t got no clue.

Just like mums, dads need their time out too.

I asked Dave what he thought about ‘me time’ and he looked at me blankly.

He had no idea what I was on about.

‘Time for you, to do what you like, just for you, like paddling and climbing and all of that stuff you used to do pre-kids … remember?’ I said.

His response after a lengthy pause was a mumbled, ‘… working in the yard’.

Umm … wrong answer, Dave.

It’s time you had some proper ‘me time’.

So, last weekend I asked Dave to list five things he wanted to do just for himself over the next little while.

Here’s what he came up with:

  1. Bledisloe Cup boys’ night out
    Heading to the pub for dinner, drinks and a bit of rugby sounds like the ultimate ‘me time’ for Dave. He was clever with this one too, as there are three Bledisloe matches meaning three nights out. Nice work, Dave.
  2. Getting a hair cut
    It’s not just the women who like to be pampered. Dave loves getting his do done, ‘maxin and relaxin’ in the massage chair and catching up on the latest goss. Oh stop it, you know you do, Dave πŸ˜‰
  3. Sunday breakfast with a mate
    Nothing beats a big breakfast on a Sunday without kids trying to pinch your bacon and eggs. Breakfast in peace sounds like bliss.
  4. Sleeping in on the weekend
    One of Dave’s favourite things to do is laze about in bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings to watch extreme kayaking or mountain biking or God knows what else while I’m downstairs kid wrangling. I’m affording him a couple of weekends of guilt free and whinge free (from me) time on the tube.

And yes, I know that’s only four, but he couldn’t come up with a fifth one!

What would you add to the list? Does your partner take time out for himself? What is his favourite ‘me time’ activity?

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Linking up to the day with the gorgeous Jess for IBOT.

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47 comments on Me time for dads

  1. Erin
    August 19, 2014 at 6:23 am (3 years ago)

    I know exactly what you mean! Really our Dave’s sound like twins! Same jobs, same relaxin’ (not). Occasionally, as in when one in the group has a baby they ‘wet the head’, so talking about once every 2 years, my David gets his mates together and they have a guys day out, usually they play golf. Though they’ve been talking about lawn bowls or a game of pool. So rare for this too happen in fact I think he’s missed the last couple of babies;)

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:12 am (3 years ago)

      It sounds like it’s time for your Dave to write his own list, Erin. It’s hard when life is so busy, but it’s just as important for them to take some time out. I hope he can fit in a game of golf or bowls soon πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. Zanni Louise
    August 19, 2014 at 6:54 am (3 years ago)

    That’s a lovely post! The men are often forgotten…Greg always has a bit of a joke because he’s the stay and home dad through the week, and everyone always laughs about his lack of work ethic…But as he says, we would never do that if he was a mother. He’d be being patted on the back and told he was doing the most important job in the world. I hope Dave enjoys his haircut! x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:13 am (3 years ago)

      That is so true, Zanni! I hope Greg gets a chance to have some time out soon. Good old Mr Mum πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  3. Deb @ home life simplified
    August 19, 2014 at 6:55 am (3 years ago)

    We luckily became best friends with a couple who already had an in into an awesome arrangement locally – a group of friends from their kids kindy class started going out monthly moms one night and dads another. It has grown over the years as people add in new friends. The dads go to the pub every month but us moms head to different restaurants. Food, chat, drinks and unwinding !
    Hubby occasionally goes to see bands and also rides his bike. Not as good at self care as me but thanks for the reminder as I will check in with him. Xxx great list.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:15 am (3 years ago)

      That is a fantastic idea, Deb. I wish we had a set up like that. Maybe we should start one πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  4. Lydia C. Lee
    August 19, 2014 at 7:00 am (3 years ago)

    I love that he wanted Sunday Breakfast with a mate – I miss that too! (nice sponsored post by the way, did not see that coming at all!!)

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:16 am (3 years ago)

      Thanks Lydia πŸ™‚ It’s really nice to hear that. I only ever write sponsored posts for things I really believe in so my readers can be assured that everything I write is authentic πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. Dannielle
    August 19, 2014 at 12:30 pm (3 years ago)

    Great post Renee and so so true we do forget about the Dad’s ‘me time’! I love the idea of getting your husband to write a list, you’ve inspired me to get my husband to one too (I’ll be curious to see what goes on it). Always refreshing and comforting to know we are all walking a similar Mummy path just in different locations. Have a great day Renee xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:17 am (3 years ago)

      It sure is refreshing, Dannielle. Yes, definitely get your husband to write that list πŸ™‚

      Reply
  6. Jodi Gibson (JF Gibson Writer)
    August 19, 2014 at 12:52 pm (3 years ago)

    My man powers through sickness too. It took the swine flu about five years ago to knock him down!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:18 am (3 years ago)

      Oh my gosh, that is full on. I just don’t know why they can’t rest. Must just be something in the genes x

      Reply
  7. Amy @ HandbagMafia
    August 19, 2014 at 1:29 pm (3 years ago)

    Lovey post. My husband rarely takes a break for himself either and is tireless with the kids- I’ve booked him flights to see a band he likes and a whole weekend to himself πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:18 am (3 years ago)

      Amy that is a brilliant idea!!! Good on you. You’ve also just reminded me I need to book tix to something for my husband’s upcoming birthday πŸ™‚

      Reply
  8. Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad
    August 19, 2014 at 1:51 pm (3 years ago)

    I agree, time out for the blokes is important. They’re our rocks!! Your man sounds like he NEVER stops! Good to enforce some time out for him I think.

    I sent Mr Vick to the footy with his brother the other night. He loved it. Just what the doctor ordered. Now I can put him back to work guilt free πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:19 am (3 years ago)

      Haha yes that’s the plan, Vicki πŸ™‚ Glad yours had a chance to have some time out.

      Reply
  9. Lauren @ Create Bake Make
    August 19, 2014 at 2:17 pm (3 years ago)

    It is sometimes all too easy to forget about our fellas! My hubby is a little crazy and the 70km round trip to and from work on his bike is his ‘me time’… clearly we have VERY different views on what is ‘me time’.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      August 20, 2014 at 6:19 am (3 years ago)

      That’s for sure. That is some serious mileage right there. He must be so fit x

      Reply
  10. Kathy
    August 19, 2014 at 4:08 pm (3 years ago)

    Your Dave sounds a lot like Mr Yang and lots of guys really – although I will say hubby will plonk in front of the footy and is a bit of a ‘block-aholic’ when it comes to watching The Block. He’s lucky he gets to fit in some gym work while at work (you know these fire-fighters need to train up for the calendar and all).

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:01 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol. They sure do πŸ™‚

      Reply
  11. Jody at Six Little Hearts
    August 19, 2014 at 5:13 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh Renee – can you send him over? I have so much that needs doing around here and he’s a tradesman too – how lucky you are!!

    Mine likes to chill out on the Playstation for his ‘me’ time.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:02 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol. Yes, he’s pretty hands on with fixing and building things around the house. The Playstation sounds like the perfect me time πŸ™‚

      Reply
  12. Kylie Purtell - A Study in Contradictions
    August 19, 2014 at 5:48 pm (3 years ago)

    I am totally guilty of making sure I get regualr “me time” but not making sure Dave does the same. I know his favourite things to do are fishing or playing golf though, both of which I have managed to make sure he scheduled over the last month, just need to make sure he makes it more a regular thing!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:03 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes that’s the thing isn’t it. I don’t know about your Dave, but mine is hopeless at organising catch ups with his mates.

      Reply
  13. Sonia Life Love Hiccups
    August 19, 2014 at 7:21 pm (3 years ago)

    My hubby’s me time is his surfing, although he doesnt get to do it anywhere near as much as he should. I love that your hubby loves a Sunday brekkie with a mate. Dont we all xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:04 pm (3 years ago)

      We sure do! Surfing would be the ultimate chill activity. I’m jealous now πŸ™‚ xx

      Reply
  14. Aroha @ Colours of Sunset
    August 19, 2014 at 8:13 pm (3 years ago)

    My husband sounds like yours. Always working, always doing something if not for his job, then for us here at home. He NEVER takes a day off work – had a week off once because he was practically on his death bed (suspected swine flu!). He even went to work the day after walking 100km in the Gold Coast Kokoda Challenge with the flu!!! Anyway, he had taken yesterday off to stay home with the puppy (we were supposed to get her Saturday, we got her a week early). He kept the day off work, and just had time for him, and he loved it. I may have created a monster. I told him he should do it every couple of months, just take an AL day and do nothing. Hope Dave gets to have some “me time” soon. My initial thought was “men don’t need it!” because I don’t think they stress as much about things as we do – let’s face it, who are the ones usually making sure the kids clothes are washed, dentist and doctor appointments made, homework done, library books back to school on library day….women have far more to worry about! But I think men have their own stresses and everyone needs self-care! x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:06 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol. I know what you mean, Aroha!! Just between you and me I think our needs are a litle greater, but the men do need a little time out too πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  15. EssentiallyJess
    August 19, 2014 at 9:09 pm (3 years ago)

    I was just thinking the other day how often Dad’s miss out on me time. Boatman will take it, because he likes fishing, but he usually has kids with him. It’s not often that he will go on his own or with a mate. He does seem to know when he needs to though. He’s better at knowing than I am!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:09 pm (3 years ago)

      That’s great that he recognises when it’s time to slow down. Because Dave doesn’t see the kids a great deal he really quite enjoys and seeks out time with them.

      Reply
  16. Twitchy Sharon
    August 19, 2014 at 10:42 pm (3 years ago)

    My husband is very simple and reliable with his ‘me time’: gym and the footy!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:09 pm (3 years ago)

      Good on him, Twitchy! How are you with yours though?

      Reply
  17. Carla from My Yellow Heart
    August 19, 2014 at 11:01 pm (3 years ago)

    Dad’s work just as hard don’t they. Your husband is busy!!
    My husband needs me time from all the girls in his house at times. So his “me time” usually involves something with a friend. Golf, drinks or something like that! And he likes to go to the gym most days too x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm (3 years ago)

      Sounds like he’s all over it, Carla. Good on him x

      Reply
  18. Michelle@myslowlivingadventure
    August 19, 2014 at 11:09 pm (3 years ago)

    My partner works away and studies too!! He loves running but there is never a whole lot of time in his schedule for him to take ‘me time’. I have to push him to go out with mates occasionally, because he feels guilty that he isn’t around much.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes, that must be hard. I could see him wanting to spend his spare time with you and the kids.

      Reply
  19. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    August 20, 2014 at 6:53 am (3 years ago)

    Husband’s “me” time is watching old war movies and sci fi shows, watching the footy, swimming laps and afternoon naps.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm (3 years ago)

      Laps and afternoon naps sound like heaven to me! Glad he’s got it all sorted.

      Reply
  20. Bec @ The Plumbette
    August 20, 2014 at 1:00 pm (3 years ago)

    I think it’s a man thing to power on when sick. I also know of guys that love to do yardwork or gardening as their me time. Watching footy comes as a close second!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes, well he does say yardwork and gardening is relaxing. Seems strange to me, but each to their own πŸ™‚

      Reply
  21. Grace
    August 20, 2014 at 3:22 pm (3 years ago)

    This is a timely post, Renee. Not only are my boys due for a haircut :), I was just talking to my husband the other day how he needed some me time.
    I’m thinking of giving him a weekend away to go surfing with a buddy for his upcoming birthday.
    I hope he takes me up on it!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 20, 2014 at 9:35 pm (3 years ago)

      I hope he does too, Grace. Sounds like bliss πŸ™‚

      Reply
  22. Jess - Peachy Keen Mumma
    August 21, 2014 at 11:35 am (3 years ago)

    I think we might be married to the same Dave. haha!
    Except that mine knows what “me-time” is, but rarely get it as well. I think I might let him sleep in after our bedroom is done being renovated. Thanks for the thought. He will love you for it. Father’s day is coming up soon. I am thinking of sending him to do some self-beer brewing too. 50 litres of home brew is what you get for around $200. That would save us heaps (for a few months anyway).

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 21, 2014 at 9:17 pm (3 years ago)

      What a brilliant idea, Jess. That is going to be a winner for sure πŸ™‚

      Reply
  23. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    August 23, 2014 at 4:13 pm (3 years ago)

    I read this in bed Tuesday and only NOW am I commenting, your hubby sounds like a true Kiwi bloke, so much like me! Nearly game time and I’m shipping mine off to his mate’s place so I can have some peace! x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 24, 2014 at 6:28 am (3 years ago)

      It kinda works both ways doesn’t it?! I enjoyed my peace yesterday evening when Dave when out for the Bledisloe again. He had a good time and I had a good time πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  24. Hope @NannyShecando
    August 25, 2014 at 10:17 pm (3 years ago)

    He’s a clever one there with the Bledisloe matches, that’s like a three-in-one kind of winning deal!

    Reply

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