Being true to your voice

I don’t know whether I was delirious from the ridiculous amount of sugar I had consumed or whether it was frostbite setting in, but as soon as she started speaking I fell into a trance.

The speaker was Ellie Beck and I was at the Creative Business Women’s High Tea.

Ellie is a creative maker living in the rainforest of Northern New South Wales with her husband and family. She and her husband run a design studio where they handcraft jewellery out of recycled skateboards. Ellie also has a personal blog, PetalPlum.

Ellie mesmerised me as she chatted to us about the importance of being true to yourself in your creative endeavours and how we will truly find joy if we create for ourselves first and foremost.

As Ellie opened her heart to us, she encouraged us to do the same in our own ventures whether it be blogging, running a business, or just life in general.

Ellie encouraged us to find our voice, to nurture it, and to stay strong to it.

Her words didn’t just speak to me, they sang to me. They lifted me up in a way I was crying out for. They embraced me, patted me on the back and gave me a nudge. Her words were what I needed to hear at this point of my blogging career.

Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim had touched on this very topic earlier in the day and Ellie’s speech served to drive the point home – at least for me anyway. Chantelle spoke of the importance of showing people who you are, sharing your life and getting people to fall in love with you.

There is no doubt I am honest and open on this blog and I do all I can to show my authentic self. People I know in real life tell me this blog is just so me, which is the biggest compliment I could ever get because I want nothing more than it to be a true reflection of myself.

In saying that, I undergo an internal battle more often than not. Words attack me in my head – Why are you doing this? Why would people be interested in you? You’re boring, stupid. Why are you even wasting your time?

You may notice while I am active on this blog, I don’t spend as much time on social media. I often don’t know what to say. I have started and deleted more Facebook status updates than I’d like to admit.

The doubt in myself is there bubbling under the surface – always – and can be all consuming at times. Sharing yourself with the world is definitely scary and it does open you up to criticism.

These thoughts are holding me back, potentially holding me back from making a success with this blog.

Ellie and Chantelle have given me the encouragement I needed to put myself out there even more. I am no longer going to start writing and then deleting anymore status updates. If people don’t like what I have to say, if I bore them, fine – they can unfollow me.

I want to make a go of things with this blog and so I am taking on Ellie and Chantelle’s advice.

You may see me being a little more active on social media, so please come along and say hi.

In the words of Kevin Costner – build it and they will come – or was that the old dude? Whoops, I’ve just been told it’s the baseball player. Anyway, I’m going to build it guys, so please come and visit xo

Linking up today with the effervescent EssentiallyJess for IBOT and the lovely ladies at Weekend Rewind πŸ™‚

me-rain

 

88 comments on Being true to your voice

  1. Vicki @ a Knocked Up and Abroad
    July 8, 2014 at 6:54 am (3 years ago)

    Good. We like your voice even if you’re uncomfortable with it. Nothing like a boost, a wind of inspiration – ride it and find your wings x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 9:56 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much, Vicki! Thank you for your support as always x

      Reply
  2. Lauren @ Create Bake Make
    July 8, 2014 at 7:03 am (3 years ago)

    Your voice is beautiful, strong and inspirational Renee – publish those updates!!! It’s scary/hard/embarrassing but most of all brave to write about yourself and your life. I’m learning there will ALWAYS be people out there who don’t like what I have to say and that’s ok, they don’t have to read or follow my site – just the same way I don’t read or follow sites that don’t interest me. I used to get quite upset when I would notice someone had ‘unfollowed’ my page or newsletter, or if a less than favourable comment was posted on Facebook, but I’m learning to toughen up as again there is always going to be a small group of people we can’t and won’t please.
    One of the main messages I also took away from the high tea was also from Chantelle – “There is longevity in being yourself”. Keep doing what you do Renee, you are amazing x

    Reply
    • Kathy
      July 8, 2014 at 7:39 am (3 years ago)

      That was the best message Lauren wasn’t it.

      Reply
      • Lauren @ Create Bake Make
        July 8, 2014 at 8:23 pm (3 years ago)

        It really was. I’ve been reminding myself of it every time I’ve sat down to write or work on my blog since πŸ™‚

        Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 9:58 pm (3 years ago)

      Lauren, you are too kind. Thank you so much for your support and friendship. The bloggy world is a pretty awesome place when I can meet people like you in it xx

      Reply
  3. Josefa @always Josefa
    July 8, 2014 at 7:05 am (3 years ago)

    They are already here Renee πŸ˜‰ Keep on building it lovely, for yourself and that inner voice. That voice has a powerful message, perhpas the most powerful of messages. I have been trying all year to only listen to that voice and move forward only listening tot hat voice xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 9:59 pm (3 years ago)

      It is surprisingly hard to do, but I think I’m getting better. This encouragement definitely helps. I won’t ever forget that you were the first blogger who reached out to me x

      Reply
  4. Lydia C. Lee
    July 8, 2014 at 7:18 am (3 years ago)

    look forward to seeing you in the twitterverse…:) Shoeless Joe Jackson? Or the James Earl Jones character? I love that movie…

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:00 pm (3 years ago)

      Must be shoeless Joe, Lydia! I love that movie too πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. Kathy
    July 8, 2014 at 7:38 am (3 years ago)

    Always love to hear and read what you say. It was a wonderfully inspiring event and glad to have spent time with you and shared that amazing vibe together. Go get me girl!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:00 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for your support, Kathy. Can’t wait to catch up with you at the next event πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  6. Mumabulous
    July 8, 2014 at 8:00 am (3 years ago)

    All my authentic voice wants to say is “Rollo is hawt” πŸ˜‰ Your blog is already doing really well – you don’t need to change anything. Love your work.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:01 pm (3 years ago)

      Lol. I love you, Mumabs. I really do πŸ™‚

      Reply
  7. Bec @ The Plumbette
    July 8, 2014 at 8:08 am (3 years ago)

    Aww Renee, I love your facebook statuses! We can be our own worst critic. Keep being you and writing how you do and we will keep coming back to read and ride with you. So glad to hear about another happy patron at the High Tea. Wished that I could have made it but found it too close to my delivery date. Looking forward to meeting you at Problogger and hopefully you will be inspired and motivated even more. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:02 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes, I can’t wait to meet you, Bec. I was actually telling someone at work today about how awesome your blog is. Thanks for coming along for the ride with me πŸ™‚

      Reply
  8. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter)
    July 8, 2014 at 8:23 am (3 years ago)

    We are already here! You have a beautiful and authentic voice here Renee, it’s why I come back. x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:03 pm (3 years ago)

      Too kind, Jodi. Thank you x

      Reply
  9. Druime@snippetsandspirits
    July 8, 2014 at 8:34 am (3 years ago)

    I don’t know why you are doubting yourself! You are doing fantastic. I’d Like to think we have all fallen in love with your authentic self. I have the excact same doubts with my blog. I am terrible at Facebook I really struggle with the self promotion and engagement. I am not a talker. So I just keep doing what I do. A lovely post I needed to read. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:04 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you! And thank you for your support. I think the self promotion is what I struggle with too. Perhaps it will get easier over time x

      Reply
  10. Aroha @ Colours of Sunset
    July 8, 2014 at 8:36 am (3 years ago)

    sounds like a great event Renee and that you got lots out of it. I wish I could have been there! Looking forward to seeing you put your all into this, I have a feeling you’re going to do fantastically! xo Aroha

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:05 pm (3 years ago)

      Ahh thanks so much, Aroha! You are a great support. I wish you could have been there too. Are you going to Problogger? x

      Reply
  11. Vicki | Style On V
    July 8, 2014 at 8:40 am (3 years ago)

    Your voice is shining through. I understand how you feel as I share those exact feelings. I often feel a little deflated but keep blogging along. V x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:06 pm (3 years ago)

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these feelings, Vicki. Together we will keep on blogging though πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  12. Erin
    July 8, 2014 at 8:52 am (3 years ago)

    Your voice is beautiful{{}}
    But I do relate to what you say, I also am attacked by “who wants to hear what I have to say” thoughts.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:06 pm (3 years ago)

      Aww Erin. Thank you. You are so sweet!

      Reply
  13. Lara @ This Charming Mum
    July 8, 2014 at 8:54 am (3 years ago)

    Clearly you already have the readers, just keep doing what you’re doing! Blogging is weird like that though. It makes you questions yourself and redfine yourself continually. But that’s a good thing! That morning tea sounded fab. Glad you got to meet some inspirational people πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:11 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanks Lara. Yes, I think it is a good thing. I don’t think I’d be analysing myself as much if I wasn’t blogging πŸ™‚

      Reply
  14. Danielle L
    July 8, 2014 at 9:39 am (3 years ago)

    Blogging is full of second guessing. Today is the first post I’ve really put a little bit of me in a blog post – I was very nervous pressing the ‘publish’ button! I haven’t yet got the confidence to use facebook for status updates, for now it’s just for sharing my posts…small steps!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:11 pm (3 years ago)

      Small steps indeed, Danielle. I read your post just before and it was great. Keep doing what you are doing. It will get easier πŸ™‚

      Reply
  15. Jodie@FreshHomeCook
    July 8, 2014 at 9:48 am (3 years ago)

    As a fellow blogger who constantly questions themselves, I get your reservations, but as a reader, your voice speaks to me because it is you. Don’t stop talking, I will be there to help you build it, not just come when it is done! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:12 pm (3 years ago)

      Aww Jodie, bless your heart. You’re such an awesome chicky. Thank you x

      Reply
  16. Zanni Louise
    July 8, 2014 at 10:03 am (3 years ago)

    I loved meeting you in real life Renee because you are just like your blog. No surprises there. I know that struggle with social media. I do the same. But like you wonder if I should just relax and let it all out. Social media ironically makes me feel really self conscious, and I often debate with myself about the purpose of my Facebook page. But you are right, authenticity is the key. Loved that you took so much from the Creative Business Women’s talks. Lovely! Will share today on our page for you xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:14 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you, Zanni! It’s interesting to hear social media makes you feel self conscious. I feel the same. You do yours SO well though. I can learn a lot from you! xx

      Reply
  17. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    July 8, 2014 at 10:16 am (3 years ago)

    Yippeee, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say – and those that don’t like it can go jump! Be you because you are GREAT!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:14 pm (3 years ago)

      You are such a great cheerleader, Em! Thank you x

      Reply
  18. Katherine - The Beauty Of Life
    July 8, 2014 at 10:44 am (3 years ago)

    Renee, I don’t think all these lovely ladies would have left such words of encouragement if you were boring! You’re right, you have something to say and you have just as much right as anyone to speak your truth.

    That little voice is so funny because it is part of us but most of the time it says things to us that we wouldn’t even say to our biggest enemy! It comes from a place of fear and we can choose to listen to it and play small, or take it on board and decide what we want is bigger than the little voice and we’re going for it anyway.

    Great post and congrats on pushing through the fear to be true to yourself!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:15 pm (3 years ago)

      You are wise beyond your years, Katherine. You are completely right about the way we talk to ourselves sometimes. Definitely time to be a bit kinder to ourselves. Thanks for dropping in πŸ™‚

      Reply
  19. Toni
    July 8, 2014 at 10:58 am (3 years ago)

    I have those thoughts all the time and wonder why anyone would be interested in anything I have to say. You just have to let it go and do stuff anyway. If people unlike then thats fine because they aren’t people you want part of your community anyway if they dont accept you for who you are.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:16 pm (3 years ago)

      That is very true, Toni. Thank you. I think that’s great advice. Just get in there and make a go of things.

      Reply
  20. Bec @ Seeing the Lighter Side of Parenting
    July 8, 2014 at 12:25 pm (3 years ago)

    I love your voice. It’s what I come to read. Good on you for being brave and good luck. And yay to not worrying about people unfollowing! I figure there’s a blog for everyone – and if it’s not mine, then that’s fine, I wish them well and hope they find other blogs that do resonate for them. xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:17 pm (3 years ago)

      Such a great attitude, Bec. I need to be more like that. Thanks for your support as always xx

      Reply
  21. Sam
    July 8, 2014 at 1:52 pm (3 years ago)

    Hey Renee,

    It’s funny, I’m such an OVER-sharer on Facebook – especially my personal page – but I’ve always been of the opinion that if people ‘follow’ you or are ‘friends’ with you, then they should be interested in what you have to day – otherwise, what’s the point?

    If people don’t like it, they don’t have to read πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:18 pm (3 years ago)

      So true, Sam. So true! I need to take a leaf out of your book. Watch out world πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  22. Emma Fahy Davis
    July 8, 2014 at 2:37 pm (3 years ago)

    I’ll be there! I’m much the same on Facebook actually, if I post a personal anecdote and someone unlikes my page, I take it really personally so now I just mainly post my blog posts.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:18 pm (3 years ago)

      I can’t help but take it a little personally too :/ I think it will get easier over time though πŸ™‚

      Reply
  23. EssentiallyJess
    July 8, 2014 at 3:31 pm (3 years ago)

    So glad they inspired you like they did! It’s hard to understand the idea of blogging sometimes. People like us? And yet they do. I stubble with this all the time too.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:20 pm (3 years ago)

      Yeah it is hard to understand isn’t it, especially for those of us like me who are fairly new to the game.

      Reply
  24. Carla from myyellowheart
    July 8, 2014 at 3:32 pm (3 years ago)

    I have actually noticed that there have been a few more statuses from you than normal. But I think it’s great. I’ve been thinking I need to try and do the same thing but I just don’t feel like it’s me, or that I have anything really exciting to say everyday as a status!! Similar to your own feelings perhaps. Love that this space is a reflection of the real you, I prefer that in a blog than a pretty picture xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:21 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you for noticing, Carla. I have been trying to make an effort. But, like you I feel like I don’t have anything really exciting to say. Will see how we go. Thank you for your kind words xx

      Reply
  25. Tara@GlutenFreeHart
    July 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm (3 years ago)

    When I read your work Renee I sense a genuineness that is real and endearing. You have an avid reader in me πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:22 pm (3 years ago)

      Ahh Tara. You are so sweet. Thank you again for the Liebster Award. I haven’t had a chance to respond, but am SO looking forward to it πŸ™‚

      Reply
  26. Denise
    July 8, 2014 at 5:46 pm (3 years ago)

    I love your voice and your social media updates. I’m trying to keep up with the updates myself but it’s not easy! I don’t always know what to say especially on Facebook. I’m finding the more I do it, the more comfortable I get with the whole thing. xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:22 pm (3 years ago)

      I think it might be a case of practice makes perfect. Let’s hope so anyway πŸ™‚ xx

      Reply
  27. Alicia
    July 8, 2014 at 7:56 pm (3 years ago)

    Thanks for sharing what you learnt. I so wish I could be at these events myself! I am so like you, I second guess too much πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:23 pm (3 years ago)

      It’s hard to change old habits isn’t it, Alicia? We have to learn to trust in ourselves πŸ™‚

      Reply
  28. Mark
    July 8, 2014 at 7:57 pm (3 years ago)

    There is nothing as powerful as the ability to say “This is me”.

    Say what you want, engage in dialogue on social media and importantly listen with your heart. Take it all into account – stir and bake the cake that is you.

    A very inspiring post. Thank You.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:24 pm (3 years ago)

      Oooh well said, Mark. Thank YOU!! Great analogy.

      Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:24 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you, Shelley. You are such a superstar!

      Reply
  29. Tegan
    July 8, 2014 at 8:50 pm (3 years ago)

    Looking forward to seeing you around the social media world some more! Social media can be brutal at times, but I think if we let the possibility that something bad might happen we’ll never get to meet the awesome people that we do!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:25 pm (3 years ago)

      True that, Tegan. You do social media so well. You could definitely teach me a thing or two πŸ™‚

      Reply
  30. Chantel
    July 8, 2014 at 9:05 pm (3 years ago)

    I was green with envy reading everyone’s posts about this day – sounds like such a fulfilling experience – glad you gained so much from it πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 8, 2014 at 10:26 pm (3 years ago)

      Thanks Chantel. It really was a great day πŸ™‚

      Reply
  31. Dannielle
    July 8, 2014 at 11:29 pm (3 years ago)

    Hi Renee
    I hear you loud and clear. I feel self conscious a lot too should I write that this way I should I change it, what will people think? I also think there are some people out there who just don’t get it why we Blog and the passion we feel for it. I would love one day to meet up with all you lovely supportive ladies. Thanks for taking the time out to say hi to me last Friday on Always Josefa’s DUF DUF, you made my day delightful as did the gorgeous Lauren from Create Bake Smile and so did Lydia from Always Made With Love. Loving this beautiful little online world. For the record I have met Ellie Beck in person she is absolutely gorgeous! x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 9, 2014 at 7:44 pm (3 years ago)

      Oh you are so lucky, Dannielle. That would have been lovely to have a chat with her. Yes, this bloggy community sure is a special one. I love the connections we can make with each other online πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  32. Michelle@myslowlivingadventure
    July 8, 2014 at 11:43 pm (3 years ago)

    Sometimes the only thing holding us back is ourselves. I think I wrote a comment last week about how writers and creative people in general seem to be plagued with self doubt. It’s the down side of choosing a path which puts you out in the public eye. Just be you, it’s clearly working!!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 9, 2014 at 8:18 pm (3 years ago)

      Yes, I guess it is, Michelle. Thank you for your kind words πŸ™‚

      Reply
  33. Hope @NannyShecando
    July 9, 2014 at 11:12 am (3 years ago)

    “If people don’t like what I have to say, if I bore them, fine – they can unfollow me” –> great comment. Good on you for realising this, it took me ages as well! That bloody self doubt sets in and can be all too harsh at times for my liking.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 9, 2014 at 8:23 pm (3 years ago)

      It sure can, Hope!!! I’m glad you’ve worked it out too! Thank you πŸ™‚

      Reply
  34. Bron @ Preschool Mummy
    July 9, 2014 at 8:44 pm (3 years ago)

    Renee, I’ve loved getting to know you a little bit over on Facebook and I can’t wait to see the layers peel back even more! Sometimes self-doubt is healthy, it allows us to evaluate ourselves and strive for betterment. But sometimes it crosses the thin line and becomes damaging. I think we’re very similar, you and I, as I often wonder if people think what I have to say is worthy. I have to remind myself, similarly to you, that they aren’t forced to read, they can always “unfollow”, so the most important thing to do is to stay true to myself! All the best with your new perspective, looking forward to seeing heaps more of you on social media! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 11, 2014 at 6:38 am (3 years ago)

      Thanks so much, Bron. I look forward to getting to know you a bit more too πŸ™‚

      Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 11, 2014 at 6:39 am (3 years ago)

      That is an excellent quote, Sarah. Thank you!

      Reply
  35. Bec | Mumma Tells
    July 10, 2014 at 8:12 pm (3 years ago)

    You won’t be getting rid if me, lady. I’m here to stay… just so you know. You’ll have to suffer my presence a little longer! Ha! On a serious note, I love what you do here. You’ve hooked me in. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 11, 2014 at 6:40 am (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much, Bec. You are too kind! xx

      Reply
  36. ClaireyHewitt
    July 12, 2014 at 3:18 pm (3 years ago)

    Sometimes blogging needs more bravery than people think. Good on you!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 13, 2014 at 12:44 pm (3 years ago)

      It sure does, Clairey. Thank you x

      Reply
  37. Maxabella
    July 12, 2014 at 3:47 pm (3 years ago)

    We are here already! Let it go, lovely. x

    Reply
  38. Lucy @ Bake Play Smile
    July 12, 2014 at 6:16 pm (3 years ago)

    What an amazing experience this must have been for you. You have such a powerful inner voice and I love reading all of your posts. I think that people want to read blogs where they know they are listening to the persons true voice, and you have certainly established that on your blog. Keep being so fabulous! xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 13, 2014 at 12:45 pm (3 years ago)

      Aww Lucy. You’re gorgeous. Thank you πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  39. Sonia Life Love Hiccups
    July 13, 2014 at 10:26 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh sweet girl – we are here and we love your voice so shine on beautiful girl, shine on. xx

    Reply
  40. Sam Stone @ A Life on Venus
    July 14, 2014 at 1:27 pm (3 years ago)

    I’m the same re social media! I write something, then delete it, then write it and delete it!!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      July 16, 2014 at 6:11 am (3 years ago)

      Glad I’m not the only one, Sam πŸ™‚

      Reply

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