Vulnerability and blogging

Six months into my blogging adventure, I have published 52 posts and written three guest posts, met five gorgeous bloggers IRL and connected with many more virtually, and had one offer of sex from a follower.

Wowsers! It’s been a big six months.

Blogging has given me everything that I hoped it would and more over the past six months. It is the something special I craved to snap me out of my mummy fog and make me feel alive again. It is something for me, my passion, my therapy, my release. It excites me and makes me feel like I have a voice.

It also makes me feel vulnerable.

Until I was propositioned, I guess I hadn’t dwelled on the fact that my words, stories, and face are ‘out there’ on the web for all to see.

It’s not like I’m standing on a podium speaking to a stadium of people, it’s me in front of a computer screen. It’s like I’m having a conversation with a mirror, but behind the mirror is the world.

I think a large part of me thought that no one would read my blog because it is boring and pointless. Perhaps I subconsciously told myself this, so I wouldn’t find it so hard to put myself out there. People are reading it though and they aren’t finding it boring or pointless.

As a blogger, I sometimes share online my innermost thoughts, fears and flaws in my character. I share intimate moments with my family, the ups and downs, the good and bad.

I absolutely love the interaction I get from readers on my blog and crave for more and more people to interact, connect, and relate to what I’m writing. At the same time, it can be quite overwhelming. One moment I’m whining to Dave that I’ve lost a few Facebook fans and the next I’m saying, ‘Holy sheet, Dave, I’ve just gotten a stack more likers! How am I going to keep them all engaged?!’

I think this feeling of vulnerability I am experiencing is okay. It’s normal and worth it. I want people to see me. I want my blog to be real and honest and to give readers something to relate to and let them know they’re not alone.

While it’s scary to know that followers may be criticising my writing and my personality, or looking at my profile pic in a way that makes my skin crawl, I have to keep taking that leap. Blogging gives me so much fulfillment. It makes me feel worthwhile and strive to be a better person.

To get past this feeling of vulnerability, I simply practice caution with what I share. I do the front page of the news test with each post, ensure I don’t cross boundaries with my loved ones, and respect Dave and our girls.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Brene Brown who is quite the expert on vulnerability.

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

What makes you feel vulnerable? How do you decide what you share on your blog?

59 comments on Vulnerability and blogging

  1. Deb @ home life simplified
    November 5, 2013 at 6:25 am (4 years ago)

    I cannot believe you have only been blogging for 6 months- wow!

    Vulnerability is intertwined completely with my blog. I cannot connect and inspire others to be their true self if I don’t share mine- warts and struggles and all.

    Live this hon xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 6:27 am (4 years ago)

      Thanks Deb πŸ™‚ I love hearing from such an experienced blogger as yourself. You’re right. We do have to be our true selves in order to connect. xx

      Reply
  2. Katie (@mumabytes)
    November 5, 2013 at 6:36 am (4 years ago)

    You are doing such a great job, Renee and honestly you are one of my faves for the very fact that you are so honest – everything you write always touches me. Please keep it up. I know what you mean, it really takes guts to share your world with the rest of the world. I think your tactic is a good one, to screen test and make sure it’s all ok with the family, then hit publish. Family always comes first. I do that, too, and usually have 15 revisions on every personal post! Katie xo

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:40 pm (4 years ago)

      Oh my gosh, Katie. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so chuffed. I am a huge fan of your blog also. Glad to know I’m not the only one with all of those revisions πŸ™‚ x

      Reply
  3. Zanni Louise
    November 5, 2013 at 7:41 am (4 years ago)

    Love Brene Brown! And a great post Renee. It’s an amazing test of character to be so vulnerable. I find it sometimes stressful, and sometimes exhilarating. But the more open and honest I am the more people people, and that is very rewarding. x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:41 pm (4 years ago)

      It sure is. It can be a bit of a roller coaster as you mentioned, but so worth it!

      Reply
  4. Lucy @ Bake Play Smile
    November 5, 2013 at 8:01 am (4 years ago)

    Congratulations on your six month anniversary! I love reading your blog… and love the fact that your husband is a Dave too! Looking forward to reading your blog for a long, long time! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:41 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you so much, Lucy! And everyone loves a Dave πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  5. lisa
    November 5, 2013 at 9:27 am (4 years ago)

    Congratulations on your 6 month anniversary. Love that quote-it will resonate for a long time.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:42 pm (4 years ago)

      It’s a great quote isn’t it?! I had trouble choosing one because Brene had so many great ones to choose from. Thanks for your congrats.

      Reply
  6. Alli @ Ducks on the dam
    November 5, 2013 at 9:57 am (4 years ago)

    Lol. An offer of sex. Luckily I can say that I havent ticked that box yet. Great work on your 6 month – er

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:42 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you. Yes, that proposition was definitely unexpected and I don’t wish it upon anyone! πŸ™‚

      Reply
  7. Me
    November 5, 2013 at 10:01 am (4 years ago)

    WOW – congrats on the 6 months althouhg it certainly seems like I have known you far longer than that.
    When I am posting I try to make sure that the stories I tell are my stories to tell and not someone else’s story. And, while I do share some of the things that happen with A and K, I make sure that it isn’t something that is their story.
    I think you are doing a great job with your blog – I’m glad that you have found it to be such a positive outlet for you. I love the blogging community that I am in and really value the inter-action.
    Have the best day !
    Me

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:44 pm (4 years ago)

      I really like that advice thanks Linda. I agree, it’s important to make sure we don’t share something that is their story. I’m so conscious of that with the girls. That’s another reason I don’t use their names or front on pics on the blog. Hope you had a fab day too!

      Reply
  8. Eleise @ A Very Blended Family
    November 5, 2013 at 10:37 am (4 years ago)

    Congratulations on blogging for 6months. I also find my blog very much like therapy! It is a strange idea that people can google you and find out your story but I think if I helop just one person than it is worth it, because I am already helping myself.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:45 pm (4 years ago)

      Oh that’s lovely, Eleise. I’m sure there are plenty of people who can relate to your blog and story. You are doing a great job!

      Reply
  9. Anika
    November 5, 2013 at 10:40 am (4 years ago)

    I am much the same. I started my blog as way to keep sane and to share our amazing journey to anyone who wanted to read. I love blogging and I love the vulnerability – it makes me a better person. Keep up the writing πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:46 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Anika. Yes, it definitely makes me want to try to be a better person. I’m glad you’re getting as much joy out of yours!

      Reply
  10. floodproofmum
    November 5, 2013 at 10:40 am (4 years ago)

    I was only thinking this the other day. I have not yet told my extended family that I am blogging…my Dad, my sister etc have no idea. Nor have I told anyone in Gympie but it is bound to come around eventually. I think vulnerability is the answer and the fact that they would be avidly reading every word and perhaps criticising? I don’t know. It’s so much bigger than facebook where I can keep my family and friends at a distance. Did you feel anxious about your family at first?

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:47 pm (4 years ago)

      Yes and I still do, especially about some posts. I think that will ease with time though. My brother has read a few of my posts and said it’s not for him. Lol. Love that honesty. Good luck with your journey and telling your family when you are ready.

      Reply
  11. Bec | Mumma Tells
    November 5, 2013 at 11:15 am (4 years ago)

    What a perfectly fitting quote. It’s a one of those things isn’t it? The word balance gets thrown around, but I think the reality is not always that straight forward. Feeling confident and comfortable within yourself with what you share is important I think, so if you’re there, keep on keeping on. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:48 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Bec. I think the thing that really helps is having hubby here to bounce ideas off on. It’s always good to have a second opinion x

      Reply
  12. Sarah@SnippetsandSpirits
    November 5, 2013 at 11:51 am (4 years ago)

    Really Love this. Blogging is like therapy. I am new to blogging also and I have learned so much about myself in the last few months. . Love that quote! I think if we did not show our vulnerability we would not be able to connect. Thank you for sharing and keep sharing !

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:49 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Sarah. The same goes for you. I visited your blog for the first time today and it is a beautiful space.

      Reply
  13. Ai Sakura
    November 5, 2013 at 1:13 pm (4 years ago)

    Congrats on reaching your 6-months bloggy milestone! πŸ™‚

    Even after blogging for about 2.5 years, I still feel pretty vulnerable. But opening up is a way to let people in and connect with them too. I want to connect with my readers and friends on the blog, and this is something that I must face, and learn to handle… (still learning by the way ;p)

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:50 pm (4 years ago)

      Wow. 2.5 years. You are doing well! It can be a big learning curve, but so worth it πŸ™‚

      Reply
  14. Josefa @always Josefa
    November 5, 2013 at 3:38 pm (4 years ago)

    I think feeling a sense of vulnerability as we write and delve deeper into our thoughts and our words is a good thing. Keep us honest with ourselves, our soul and our spirit. I twist over the idea of keeping my audience engaged and often feel that I am letting them down – I think that is just testament to character – or at least that is what I tell myself! Congratulations on the most amazing six months!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:51 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Josefa. Thank you so much for your support over the past six months and for being the first blogger to reach out to me. I will never forget it x

      Reply
  15. Aroha @ Colours of Sunset
    November 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm (4 years ago)

    OMG you were propositioned for sex!? Did you even respond to that!? Bet that was the last thing you expected to get out of blogging! LOL! I find myself censoring my posts a lot, and while I think that is a shame, there are some things I just don’t feel comfortable sharing, nor do I think they are appropriate to share. I think you’re doing a fantastic job! xo Aroha

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:52 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Aroha! Nope, I definitely did not respond to that delightful invitation!! I think I froze and didn’t move for about 10 minutes after reading it lol. xo

      Reply
  16. Bec @ The Plumbette
    November 5, 2013 at 4:19 pm (4 years ago)

    I can’t believe you were asked for sex?!!! Obviously that
    Erson felt a connection with you! Lol. I agree blogging can make you feel vulnerable but your technique on what you post and feel you are able to share is a good one for me to remember and follow. Happy 6 month anniversary!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 5, 2013 at 9:53 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Bec. I have no idea what possessed that person to message me, but each to their own!

      Reply
  17. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    November 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm (4 years ago)

    It’s a tough one lovely, the lovely Martine over at The Modern Parent has a great quote. Never write anything you don’t want the whole world to know. Eg EVERYONE can read what you’ve written and so remember that.
    I have to say BOOM for being asked to get jiggy with it? I bet it was kinda creepy, but I’m intrigued to know how you dealt with it.
    Keep doing what you’re doing, I think we can all related to honest, open people and we are in short supply lovely. Happy 6 months and I LOVE YOUR WORK (but I don’t want to have sex with you πŸ˜‰ xxxx
    Em xxx

    Reply
  18. EssentiallyJess
    November 5, 2013 at 9:48 pm (4 years ago)

    I don’t think I often consciously consider how vulnerable I make myself on the blog, but last week after an email the point came home. We are out there for the world to see, and they can choose to use our words anyway they wish which is a terrifying thing really.
    And yet the trade off is, that the vulnerability is what actually gives us those deep connections.
    You’ve got me all thoughtful now!

    Reply
  19. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen
    November 5, 2013 at 10:49 pm (4 years ago)

    Gosh Renee, only 6 months, you seem like an old hand at this (obviously not so old πŸ˜‰ )
    It’s tricky isn’t it? But I think if you know in your heart it’s fine to write, go with it. I tend to go with gut feelings.
    Keep up your fabulous work xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 6, 2013 at 8:56 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Lisa. Going with my heart and gut is definitely good advice. Thank you x

      Reply
  20. Lara @ This Charming Mum
    November 6, 2013 at 6:02 am (4 years ago)

    OMG, well I’ve been blogging for 2 years, had lots of great experiences/connections, but I’ve never ‘got lucky’! (Or is it ‘unlucky’?) I have had a couple of troll attacks though which is always a stark reminder that you really can’t control who will read your words. But, as long as you are proud of everything you’ve written, I think blogging is ultimately really empowering. Congrats on making it to 6 months!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 6, 2013 at 8:58 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Lara. And it was definitely unlucky. Those troll attacks would have been scary. I hope it doesn’t happen to you again!

      Reply
  21. Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad
    November 6, 2013 at 6:51 am (4 years ago)

    Oh I’m so glad you’ve been having a great bloggy journey. I was the same. I started my blog for some creativity and an outlet from my Mummy fog too and I’ve loved the interaction, feedback and developing a little community around me. BUT I totally haven’t been offered sex!?!?! ha haha πŸ™‚

    Some posts I have to be really brave about putting up. I feel vulnerable then. I like being as honest as I can too. To keep it real and that is exposing sometimes but I am always rewarded because those posts are often my biggest hits because most of my readers can relate. So it’s win win really.

    I know my husband felt vulnerable and exposed when I started the blog for a long time because he obviously was mentioned in it from time to time, but now he has learnt to just not read it and that it provides me with so much so he is happy for me to have an online identity which is somewhat separate to the real me.

    Each time I post something that I feel a bit vulnerable about, my bloggy confidence grows.
    I hope yours does too. Keep doing what you do!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 6, 2013 at 9:02 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Vicki. Yes, I think my confidence is growing also and you get more accustomed to knowing what feels right and wrong. It’s true what you say that the posts where you feel the most vulnerable tend to be the most read πŸ™‚

      Reply
  22. Sam Stone @ A Life on Venus
    November 6, 2013 at 12:03 pm (4 years ago)

    Congrats on your six month- iversary lovely lady!
    I just post about anything and everything. It helps me to heal when I post about the inner most personal stuff – some people might like I share too much but for me it is like therapy.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 6, 2013 at 9:03 pm (4 years ago)

      Such great therapy isn’t it, Sam?! And free too! πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  23. Jana
    November 6, 2013 at 1:39 pm (4 years ago)

    Your post and many of the comments really resonated with me. I just started blogging just a few months ago. I talked to my sister about it before I started, because many of my posts have to do with childhood — and therefore I talk a lot about my parents and their parenting skills. She told me that she didn’t know if my blog was a good idea — and if I really “had” to do it, then couldn’t I use a pseudonym? She didn’t want anyone to know who I was or who I was blogging about, because she thought it would be embarrassing for my parents. I’m proud of the fact that I told her that it was important to blog as myself — to tell my true stories from MY perspective, without shame or guilt. It took me some time to talk to my mom about the blog — but now she subscribes and she often emails me to tell me she enjoyed a post (and she was really supportive). Even so, there are stories I would like to tell, but I’m hesitant — because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m still working on getting to that point where I can be totally open and vulnerable – both on my blog and in “real life”.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 6, 2013 at 9:13 pm (4 years ago)

      Good for you, Jana. And welcome to the blogosphere! How amazing that your mum is enjoying your blog. That must be such a great feeling for you. I can understand your sister’s concerns. My brother was the same. I think over time she will see where you’re coming from and trust in the fact that you know you when and what to share. Good luck!

      Reply
  24. Shelley @ Money Mummy
    November 8, 2013 at 1:37 pm (4 years ago)

    LOL! I can’t believe you were propositioned!!!! That must have been a shock! I agree exposing yourself to the public is difficult but very rewarding. Congrats on your first 6 months, I am looking forward to seeing what the next 6 months brings your lovely blog.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 8, 2013 at 1:45 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Shelley πŸ™‚ Yes, it has been quite eventful πŸ™‚

      Reply
  25. Emma Fahy Davis
    November 8, 2013 at 4:00 pm (4 years ago)

    Happy six months, and congratulations on creating such a beautiful, honest, personal space. I too feel somewhat vulnerable putting it all out there – for years I’ve written other people’s stories as a journo and hidden behind the byline, but now i’m sharing my own stories and cathartic as that is, it’s also terrifying! Some of my most personal stories I’ve felt very anxious as I hit Publish, especially knowing that many of the players in my stories are reading along and remembering events from their own perspectives. Still, feel the fear and do it anyway I say!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 8, 2013 at 6:47 pm (4 years ago)

      That’s good advice, Emma! One of the things I love about your blog is your openness. It is so real and refreshing. Thanks for your kind words.

      Reply
  26. Kimmie
    November 9, 2013 at 11:52 am (4 years ago)

    It is a personal decision how much to divulge on blogs and each to their own I feel. Whilst I would never give out details that would risk my families security etc I do believe in keeping my blog real. For me I can’t be any other way. I will not just blog about the 98% of happy bliss filled days my family and I share and neglect to tell you about the other 2% in some shape or form, leading you all to believe that we are perfect.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 9, 2013 at 1:50 pm (4 years ago)

      So true, Kimmie. We just all need to find that happy medium that we’re comfortable with. Thanks for dropping in.

      Reply
  27. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    November 9, 2013 at 12:44 pm (4 years ago)

    I love your sentence: “It’s like I’m having a conversation with a mirror, but behind the mirror is the world.” That is so true!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 9, 2013 at 1:51 pm (4 years ago)

      Isn’t it, Leanne?! I can’t take credit for that line. My hubby was reading my draft post and he said that to me. He hit the nail on the head. He really has a way with words.

      Reply
  28. Robyn (Mrs D)
    November 10, 2013 at 9:26 am (4 years ago)

    Congrats on your six months. I am coming to close to 12 months since I started and I feel exactly the same as you do. I often forget that there is a whole world out there that can ‘see’ me and I almost always worry that I am boring and pointless. On the good side I too have met some amazing kind and wonderful bloggers who have done nothing but welcome me into the fold. Keep going, you blog is great xxx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 10, 2013 at 2:24 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Mrs D. That means so much coming from you! I love your blog also x

      Reply
  29. Emily
    November 12, 2013 at 9:11 pm (4 years ago)

    Six months? I swear you’ve been around longer! Congrats. Keep going. Love your bloggy home.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm (4 years ago)

      Thanks Emily. I love yours too πŸ™‚

      Reply
  30. Maxabella
    November 14, 2013 at 12:17 pm (4 years ago)

    I think life is all about vulnerability. When you think about it, out ‘photos’ are no more ‘exposed’ than walking down the street – it’s actually the people we interact with that hide without a face. I bet you get propositioned all the time!?! πŸ™‚ x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      November 14, 2013 at 1:09 pm (4 years ago)

      Hahaha. Lol, Bron. Ummm no, thankfully. You’re so right what you say about the people we interact with that hide without a face. I didn’t think of it that way. Thanks x

      Reply

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