6 delightful things they don’t tell you about being pregnant

I caught up with a newly pregnant friend last week. She is over the moon to be having her first baby, but oh my God, the poor woman is suffering with morning sickness in a big way.

We got to talking about all of those delightful parts of pregnancy that nobody tells you about. Heads up, guys – it’s not like the movies. You’re not going to vomit a few times in the toilet cubicle at work before you transform into a glowing goddess – well not for the vast majority of us anyway.

If your experience is anything like mine, you need to know what you’re in for because shit gets very real when you’re pregnant.

Not sure what to expect when you’re expecting? Here are six of the pregnancy problems I experienced. Feel free to share yours in the comments.

All day and night sickness

Morning sickness is one of the most insulting terms in the English language. Don’t be fooled into thinking you will feel nauseous only in the mornings when you’re pregnant. ‘Morning sickness’ can hit you at any time. I suffered morning sickness from five weeks and it was relentless. The afternoons and evenings were the worst. I was often too weak to move from the shower floor. Yep, I used to vomit in the shower. Vomit and cry – because you can’t vomit without crying, am I right? What a beautiful way to kick off your pregnancy. Sigh.

Your sense of smell will be heightened during pregnancy. I could smell perfume, coffee and spicy food from the next suburb and it would turn me green. I learnt to hold my breath during meetings for fear of losing my gourmet breakfast of pizza shapes over the boardroom table.

Pregnancy books tell you that morning sickness eases as you move into the second trimester. For many of us this is just a big, fat lie. It lasted until well over the halfway mark for me. If you’re especially unlucky you will have morning sickness return in the third trimester, or worse yet, you’ll be stuck with it the whole way through.

Survival tip: If morning sickness persists after 12 weeks, talk to your doctor about anti-nausea medication. If you’re feeling like death prior to 12 weeks, eat small, bland meals regularly.

morning sickness

Me – too sick to move

The Hunger Games

Your appetite will be insatiable when you’re pregnant, which is extremely cruel if you fall victim to morning sickness. If you’re anything like me, prepare to get trapped in an ‘eat and vomit’ cycle for months. I wanted to be the healthiest version of me when I was pregnant to support my growing foetus, but there was a period where all I could stomach was a McDonald’s Happy Meal (without meat). I think my stomach and mind was confused that I was pregnant and not suffering a raging hangover.

Survival tip: Keep salted crackers and pizza shapes on your bedside table – you’ll be too tired to get up to the pantry at 4am in the morning.

Ooh, ouch, ahhh!

You may experience back pain, feel pressure in your downstairs area, and if you’re lucky like me, experience electric shocks down your backside and leg. Sometimes your legs may feel numb or have pins and needles. That, my friends, is called sciatica and it’s not very nice.

Survival tip: Pregnancy massage will give you temporary relief. Be sure to take it easy and don’t spend too much time on your feet.

pregnant

Me – 19 weeks

You'll feel swell *coughs*

‘Dude, look at your feet!’ I will never forget my friend saying this to me after the birth of my first daughter. My feet, ankles and legs swelled to the size of the Michelin Man. For me, swelling came after birth, but you may experience it during pregnancy. Get ready to say sayonara to your ankles and watch your toes transform into breakfast sausages.

Survival tip: Put your feet up to help with circulation. Try gentle exercise – swimming was a favourite for me.

pregnant

Me – 30 weeks

Varicose veins on your vajayjay

I’ll never forget the time my parents’ neighbour pulled me over at Coles in the bakery section and said, ‘So your mum tells me you’ve got varicose veins on your vagina’. I wanted to die a thousand deaths until she told me she had them too! This is up there with one of my least favourite parts about being pregnant.

Your private parts will throb like they’ve never throbbed before – and not in a good way. Varicose veins on your vulva are downright painful, not to mention horrible to look at. You’ll be tempted to get down there with a mirror to take a look. A word to the wise – don’t do it. Just. Don’t. Do. It.

Survival tip: Put your feet up. If the pain is unbearable, you can buy compression pants to help ease the pain.

Bumps on your boobs

Have you ever heard of Montgomery’s tubercles? I hadn’t either until I begged my obstetrician to take a look at my boobs. I noticed strange bumps on my areolas one morning and feared I had a weird disease that my baby would contract when I breastfed her. My obstetrician assured me it was normal, but I didn’t believe him. (Side note: Pregnancy hormones will send you on an emotional roller coaster. I turned into the biggest worrier known to humankind). I was positive I had a rare disease and my boobs would likely fall off. ‘You’re not going to leave until I look at your breasts, are you?’ I remember my obstetrician saying to me. He was exactly right.

Survival tip: They may look awful, but they’re not painful. They will disappear. Eventually.

Me – 39 weeks – the day my first baby was born

Pregnancy of course is different for every woman. These are just some of the issues I experienced. You may experience some, all, or none of them.

It’s important to remember that no matter how downright disgusting you may feel during pregnancy, there’ll be a reward in the form of a beautiful baby at the end.

I suppose now would be the wrong time to mention post pregnancy problems, right?!

Linking up today with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.

32 comments on 6 delightful things they don’t tell you about being pregnant

  1. Jody at Six Little Hearts
    October 3, 2017 at 6:35 am (2 weeks ago)

    Oh god those veins in the soft bits! I always forget those until it’s too late.
    I have revisited this experience too on my own website today!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:56 pm (2 weeks ago)

      How funny we were on a similar wavelength today 🙂

      Reply
  2. Jette
    October 3, 2017 at 6:46 am (2 weeks ago)

    Oooh yes i remember freaking out about the montgomerys tubercles too!!
    Thanks for this frank look at some of the not so joyful parts of pregnancy!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:56 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Jette 🙂

      Reply
  3. Claire
    October 3, 2017 at 6:53 am (2 weeks ago)

    I thought you were pregnant again! I didn’t get that sick but I put in 24kg and 30kg for my pregnancies. I also retained fluid all over. I remember catching up with Liesel the day before I had my first baby and she laughed (kindly) because even my face and lips were swollen with retained fluid!
    So glad I never had to go through it again!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:57 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Oh my Gosh, Claire. That sounds full on!!! I had a friend who had a huge amount of fluid retention too. Not fun!

      Reply
  4. Tracy
    October 3, 2017 at 7:03 am (2 weeks ago)

    I feel like I barely contended with anything after reading this. In my first pregnancy I had barely-there morning sickness, and I ended up with pre-eclampsia. But with the other two, nothing but fluid retention and humungous weight gain (25kg/kid), because that hunger thing is totally real! Oh, and heartburn.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:58 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Oh my sister had heartburn. Not pleasant at all. Haha yep, the hunger thing is so real!

      Reply
  5. Ingrid
    October 3, 2017 at 7:58 am (2 weeks ago)

    When I saw the title of your blog post I thought you might be pregnant again!

    When I was pregnant with my third child I developed gall stones. So painful and they won’t remove them until after you’ve given birth.

    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:59 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Oooh ouch!! That sounds absolutely dreadful. You poor thing!!!

      Reply
  6. Vanessa
    October 3, 2017 at 8:18 am (2 weeks ago)

    I literally don’t know how (or why, maybe that’s the better term) women are supposed to go about their daily lives with vomiting being a part of it. I really can’t comprehend.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 8:59 pm (2 weeks ago)

      It is very difficult, that’s for sure.

      Reply
  7. Bec Senyard
    October 3, 2017 at 9:42 am (2 weeks ago)

    Oh all of this. Except the varicose veins down there. I got stretch marks so bad! When I take my clothes off I look like a tiger. A silver and white striped tiger now as they have faded. Despite going through all this once, it still worth going through it again to add a sibling to the mix. I’m glad my baby growing days are over. Great post lovely. x

    Reply
  8. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    October 3, 2017 at 1:49 pm (2 weeks ago)

    It wasn’t until my friends started to have babies that I got to see Pregnancy: The Real Deal. But even so the varicose vagina was a new one on me! I love your pregnancy pics by the way – the coffee table one is pure gold!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 9:00 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Hahaha I felt like I was on my death bed. Meanwhile, I love Pregnancy: The Real Deal. I seriously should have this blog post that.

      Reply
  9. Nicole @ The Builder's Wife
    October 3, 2017 at 5:03 pm (2 weeks ago)

    I hated being pregnant with my daughter, I was sick 24/7 for the entire pregnancy. I ended up in hospital for 6 weeks BEFORE I had her and then she was also sick and had to stay in for another 3 weeks. It took me 5 years to be convinced to try it again. Luckily 2nd time wasn’t quite so bad 🙂

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 3, 2017 at 9:01 pm (2 weeks ago)

      Thank goodness for that!! Being in hospital that long is awful.

      Reply
  10. Gayle
    October 3, 2017 at 9:41 pm (2 weeks ago)

    Hahaha good article. I only suffered ‘morning’ sickness when I went grocery shopping and thought about those rows upon rows of tinned vegies on the shelves. I had to send my Pommy husband down that aisle to get his own mushy mint peas in a tin. The thought of all those tinned peas, beans, carrots, and corn turned my stomach – and I’m vegetarian!
    Just thought I’d mention another delightful pregnancy oddity – pica. It’s an extreme form of ‘craving’. I didn’t ‘suffer’ from it though, but boy, everyone else near me sure did! You see, my particular (or I should say peculiar) craving was chewing rubber! And the occasional sniff of kerosene. Only my mother-in-law understood, and I blame her. After all, I was carrying her grandchildren. She and her sister sniffed boot polish during pregnancy however, her sister soon cured her pica because she tried eating it! Anyway, I chewed rubber from morning to night, driving everyone near me up the wall. I didn’t eat it though (that’s just weird hahaha), just chewed on it. Thought I’d mention it in case someone else has/had it and thought they were going nuts haha!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:25 pm (1 week ago)

      Oh my Gosh, Gayle!!! That is so interesting. I’ve never even heard of that during pregnancy before. And the occasional sniff of kero!! Soooooo interesting isn’t it. I can just imagine your stomach turning at those tinned peas. Ewwww!

      Reply
  11. Druimé
    October 3, 2017 at 11:08 pm (2 weeks ago)

    Oh man you had it all !!! That pic of you in the coffee table speaks volumes. Pizza shapes are the best

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:25 pm (1 week ago)

      Hahaha yes, it does!

      Reply
  12. Bella
    October 5, 2017 at 6:36 am (2 weeks ago)

    There were some things here I didn’t know…varicose veins on the lady parts 😮 For some strange reason though I still want to have a baby!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:26 pm (1 week ago)

      Lol!!! It is all worth it in the end 🙂

      Reply
  13. Denyse
    October 5, 2017 at 10:11 am (2 weeks ago)

    Well this title had everyone talking didnt it? I was blissfully ignorant the first time I was pregnant and was tired a bit as I taught full time. However, things went awry at around 35 weeks when from one visit to the country GP to the next I had stacked on about 6 kg and it was all fluid. Off to the nearest big city to see a specialist and then to be told “go to hospital’ stat. I had pre-eclampsia and I was on 24/7 bed rest in a share ward of other special needs mums to be, a diet of not much and diuretics. I was scared and lonely. However, after a week of this, the specialist sent me home to rest (it was 2 hours away) and a date to return for my induction. That too was something I was ill-prepared for – it took over 48 hours but I birthed our daughter with gas only and a nurse holding my hand. That was 46 years ago and we never forget those stories!! They need to be told!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:44 pm (1 week ago)

      Oh they sure do, Denyse!!! What an interesting story. I can’t believe you had no idea you were pregnant!

      Reply
  14. Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum
    October 5, 2017 at 10:16 am (2 weeks ago)

    I love my three girls and wouldn’t change anything for the world, but I know my body could not handle another pregnancy. I felt so sick day and night for up to 20 weeks with my last pregnancy … dealing with that constant nausea day in day out was just awful and so exhausting!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:46 pm (1 week ago)

      Oh it really is, Erika!! It takes it out of you big time 🙂

      Reply
  15. Jo @ You had us at hello
    October 10, 2017 at 12:49 am (1 week ago)

    I thought you were pregnant again for a minute there 😂 wowsers you sure had a rough pregnancy Renee. I had a little nausea and that was all. I have however had 7 years of crappy sleep so I get the sense no matter what you do – us mothers cop it hard at some point!! Lol!! Def worth it tho aye 😍 #teamIBOT

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      October 10, 2017 at 8:49 pm (1 week ago)

      Hahaha, yep. That sleep deprivation is a killer :/

      Reply

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