I got my ticket for the long way round
Two bottle whiskey for the way
And I sure would like some sweet company
And I’m leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
You know when you’re cruising along in life and everything seems to be going according to plan?
You have the dream man, precious kids, a lovely house, good health, great friends and family, and a well-paid and secure job. All your ducks have lined up in a row and you can’t help but high five yourself.
Everything seems to be too good to be true until a niggling feeling creeps in ever so slightly. Something isn’t right, but you can’t put your finger on it.
Each day rises, falls and rolls into one. You feel trapped in monotony and the constant juggle that is work and kids. You know it’s not kosher to talk about busyness or mother guilt, but hell you suffer terribly from them both. You run yourself into the ground to make everyone happy. Everyone, but you.
You realise the constant grind has gotten you down. There is nothing to look forward to and your life lacks challenge and inspiration. You’re in a rut. You fall deeper into sadness, until you decide you can’t take it anymore. You have to make a change.
I’ve got my ticket for the long way round
The one with the prettiest of views
It’s got mountains, it’s got rivers
It’s got sights that give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you
Six months ago, I made the change – or at least the first steps on my long way round to change.
I took six months’ long service leave to figure out where my heart and mind was at. I considered what makes me happy and whether I’m living life to the full.
It all sounds a bit deep and meaningful doesn’t it?
I filled my leave with plenty of quality time with my girls. I enjoyed not having the mad rush in the mornings and being able to help out in the classroom, attend special events, and take on the role of volunteer marketing coordinator at my daughter’s school. I was also able to spend precious time with my very brave, yet very ill 91-year-old grandmother, who lost her battle with ovarian cancer a few months ago.
On top of all that, I threw myself into freelance writing, social media management and communication consultancy. I loaded myself up with courses and training, all the while trying to work out what the right path was for me.
I don’t know whether it’s because I’m careening closer to 40 and feel like it’s now or never to make a change, or if it’s because as I get older I become clearer on what I want from life and have more guts to reach out and grab it.
Despite the great job, great boss and great mates, I knew it wasn’t fulfilling me. I had been there 10 years and it no longer ignited the fire within. My father told me on numerous occasions that I’d be flaming mad to give up my sweet job, but I felt I owed it to myself to take a chance on me. I knew I would regret it if I stayed in that job for the rest of my life because it was the ‘smart’ thing to do.
And while I believe I now know what the right path is for me, I also know that now is not exactly the right time to take the leap. The stakes are so much higher when you have a young family, who depend on your wage to make ends meet.
So, instead of taking a massive leap to achieve my dreams, I’ve taken a little one – trust me, it feels equally as terrifying.
The day I resigned from my well-paid and secure job, I felt physically ill. I was shaking like a leaf, and to be honest, I still feel in shock. I’m not the type of person to do this sort of thing. I play by the rules, I don’t take risks.
After I resigned, I saw this quote on the Plumbette’s Facebook account.
When it feels scary to jump,
That is exactly when you jump,
Otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.
The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I had been attempting to lead a more intuitive life and open my heart and mind to the universe. I felt this was telling me that it would all be okay.
And so here I am, moving in the opposite direction to what I should perhaps be moving in. I’m taking the long way round to realising my dreams.
Today, I start a new chapter. The first day of a new job. Wish me luck.
The inspiration for this post came from a very dear former colleague. She told me how much I will be missed at work and how great she thinks it is that I’m following my dreams even if I’m taking the long way round. She signed off the email with this song.
When is the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and believed in yourself?
Linking up today with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.