Oh hi! It’s been a while

It’s 5.17 am on Good Friday and I am wide awake.

No-one else in my house is awake. It’s the prime time for me to be asleep, to rest, to snuggle into my husband, who I’ve rarely seen lately. But, no. The words are keeping me awake.

The ruddy words that flit in and out of my mind whenever I have five minutes to myself. They come when I’m lying in bed, when I’m cleaning, when I’m driving to work. They’re pretty persistent these words – the fast formation of blog posts in my head begging to be written. (Side note: The funny thing is if I don’t write them down straight away, they are gone forever. #thisis40)

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t written on this blog since December last year. It blows me away and makes me cringe at the same time.

When you haven’t written on your blog for so long, it begs the questions ‘why start now?’, ‘what will I write about?’, ‘does anybody even care?’ and ‘could I really be bothered with all of the self-promotion that comes with running a blog?’.

Why start now?

I think the answer to this one is that I’m having trouble letting go of something that has been a massive part of my life for close to five years. This space has been where I’ve shared my innermost thoughts and feelings as I muddled through the trenches of early motherhood. While I loved becoming a mother, I felt it came with a loss of identity. I was changing as a human being and this blog helped me figure out who I was in my new world. Plus, it gave me a chance to share the stories of my beautiful children. The laughter, love and good times we had, along with the trials and tribulations. And you all related to my stories. You commented on my blog posts, you shared my stories, you even sent me personal emails saying you’re experiencing the exact same thing as me. It’s hard for me to walk away from that – the connection with strangers, the feeling that you’re part of a community, the notion that I’m helping people – even if it is just to give them a laugh at my total awkwardness.

There’s also the fact that I miss writing. When I started a new job in February this year, I gave up my freelance writing. I had been writing every morning and night for almost two years for external clients, in addition to writing for this blog. All of a sudden, I have stopped. Life has changed. Instead of writing of an evening, I’m watching Married At First Sight (Did you hear Telv and Sarah have split up?) and (Bachelor in Paradise). I’ve also been reading books and books and books. It’s a nice change from blog posts, but still …

What will I write about?

This, I feel, is the trickiest question of all. What on earth will I blog about? Traditionally, I’ve written about my children. Those little creatures provide endless blog fodder, but as they’re getting older I feel less inclined to write about them. There would be nothing stopping Miss Seven from hopping onto my blog to read stories I’ve written about her. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Would it embarrass her? What right do I have to write about her and her life? Dave and I have even chatted about shutting down this blog completely to take off the internet (if you can ever really do this) all stories that relate to our children, just in case anyone decides to use the content against them to bully them.

If I don’t write about my kids, then what do I write about? My blogging style is storytelling – you won’t get posts here on how to bake the perfect Easter brownies, how to style your Easter table or Easter craft that will keep your kids entertained for hours. I write about life – my life, my family’s life. I’m not a baker, crafter or expert on anything really. I just like to write and to tell stories. When two of your main characters are taken out of the picture, then it’s hard to work out where that leaves you.

I have toyed with the idea of writing a blog targeted toward women (mainly mums) in their 40s (or approaching 40). It would be stories based around life in your 30-40s, styling, keeping fit and making the most of your life. This idea clearly needs work …

Does anybody even care?

There have been five people who have asked me what I’m doing with my blog and where it’s gone. My mum, mother-in-law, my mother-in-law’s friend, my sister and my friend. On occasion I’ve said to friends, ‘Can you believe I haven’t written on my blog ALL YEAR?’ and they’re like ‘huh, what? Oh, that’s right you used to have a silly old blog’. That last sentence wasn’t based on a real conversation, but it’s certainly how I feel.

Does anyone give a rat’s if I blog or not? Does anyone care for my ramblings? Hmmm these are the questions that run through my head at inopportune times. Perhaps I should just keep a journal …

Could I really be bothered?

This is the clincher. Could I be bothered? Do I have time? Because writing blog posts takes time. Promotion of your blog posts and navigating the endless changes to Facebook and Instagram’s algorithms take time. I could spend two hours writing a blog post only to have five people read it. Is that really an efficient use of my spare time? Surely my free time would be better spent finding out if Jarrod is going to find true love on Bachelor in Paradise, no?

I have never felt comfortable with self-promotion or putting myself out there. I’m not a showy person, I’m an introvert. It’s the personal connection I want – not the ‘fame’. I would often think about things to share on my Facebook page and think, ‘Renee, does anybody actually care?’ It’s these questions that have made me freeze and become unable to write.

There are so many rules and regulations with blogging and social media. I know I’ve broken one right here with writing a blog post that’s longer than 800 words. If you’ve read this far – congratulations!

So, I finish this blog post no clearer than when I started. Hitting publish on this one will be tricky because it opens up the windows of communication again. Am I ready? Do I want to? I just don’t know.

Until next time, my friends, whenever that may be.

Happy Easter to you all – may you have a lovely long weekend with your family.

Renee

xxx

19 comments on Oh hi! It’s been a while

  1. Rachel
    March 30, 2018 at 8:16 am (5 months ago)

    I like the sound of your ideas for a new (or revamped)blog! I gave up blogging a little while ago as it was just too much work, so I definitely understand why you might choose to let the whole thing go though. On a side note my middle son (now 13) found The Very Inappropriate Blog because it was bookmarked on my mums Christmas computer! He read the lot and thought it was hilarious – for about 5 minutes I think he actually thought I was cool (don’t worry it passed pretty quickly lol) 😊

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 9:16 am (5 months ago)

      Lol. That is good to know, Rachel!!! Hopefully my daughter will find the humour in my posts. I’d been wondering where you’ve gotten to also. Blogging really is a lot of work and a big commitment. I’ll see how I go 🙂 Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  2. Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum
    March 30, 2018 at 8:24 am (5 months ago)

    Welcome back! I have missed your blog posts but you have to do what feels right for you and your family. I have also been questioning my place in be blogging world lately which means my posts have been rather sporadic, but I’ll keep on going as I feel like I need somewhere to leave the words that keep popping into my head. Wishing you and your family a lovely Easter xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 9:17 am (5 months ago)

      Yes, I definitely know what you mean, Erika. I don’t like the pressure of having to blog every week or a couple of times a week. I think the sporadic thing will work for me too. Thanks for reading. Have a fab Easter with the family xx

      Reply
  3. Susan
    March 30, 2018 at 9:05 am (5 months ago)

    Your blogs are always an uplift for me even though we are miles and years apart. Makes me feel closer to the Wilsons – some of my most favorite folks in the world. BUT- you certainly get to take a break, a retreat, a vacay. Enjoy yourself, girl!!!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 9:18 am (5 months ago)

      Aww thanks so much, Susan. You’ve always been a great supporter of this blog and our family x

      Reply
  4. Kathy
    March 30, 2018 at 9:56 am (5 months ago)

    Happy Easter Renee. This popped up on Facebook so I must have been meant to read it. You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged for a whole entire year and I’ve barely been reading blogs either. We all move through stages and I can totally relate to outgrowing the parenting stories as I’m quite a bit further along in the age department! Write if you love it, if you want to, if you have time. Write for yourself and promote if you want to, if you have time. I won’t revisit Yinyangmother – I am going to revamp as Yinyangliving at some stage when I’m ready.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 7:08 pm (5 months ago)

      How funny I popped up in your feed! Yes, I’ve noticed you haven’t blogged and I have dearly missed your calming and deeply thought out words. I think many of us who started blogging around the same time have outgrown our blogs a little. Time to reinvent! I love the idea of Yingyanliving x

      Reply
  5. Sarah
    March 30, 2018 at 11:02 am (5 months ago)

    Hi Renee,
    I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog. I completely understand what you are saying about your children’s stories. Being a mum and having children is so much of our lives, and sometimes you think that’s all there is. I hope you are able to work out how you’re going to maintain your writing passion.
    Best of luck.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 7:07 pm (5 months ago)

      Thank you so much, Sarah. Your words have really rung true to me and have given me something to think about. Thank you xx

      Reply
  6. Elisha
    March 30, 2018 at 11:17 am (5 months ago)

    I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog and am following along on insta. A new reincarnation. Sounds great! Isn’t it awful having thoughts of kids using our precious pics and content to bully in the future. I feel sick in my guts that I’m already worrying about this happening. I deleted all my 52 project posts and all other pics/ posts because of this too. What is the world coming too?? Now I’ve got hardly any posts left! 😂😂😜. I blog in my head everyday and really need to start journaling my garden adventures because I love looking back on the past. Xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 7:06 pm (5 months ago)

      I love your words and images, Elisha. Please keep them coming. It is difficult though when kids are involved and when they’re getting older. I’d like to save all of my posts and turn it into a book for the girls to read at some stage. I think it’s difficult for us creatives to let go, especially when our words have been such a big part of our life xx

      Reply
  7. Nat
    March 30, 2018 at 11:29 am (5 months ago)

    Hi Renee, I read the whole 800 words and I can really relate to what you’re saying. I am seeing writers pulling back from blogs and even online business people closing down their e-courses etc. I am in the same boat. I have often wondered whether it’s just a changing of the times? Maybe we all just want and need a rest from effort? I’m not sure. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 7:04 pm (5 months ago)

      Hi Nat
      Yes, I definitely think it’s a change of the times AND I think we’re all exhausted too. Blogging and running your own business takes so much time and energy. It can be exhausting. I’d love to catch up next time you’re in the neighbourhood, if you’re keen x

      Reply
  8. Tania
    March 30, 2018 at 2:36 pm (5 months ago)

    I love the idea of a blog about women in our 40’s. As I approach 40 I feel like I would gain from a community of women and I love your writing. I’d follow:)

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      March 30, 2018 at 7:03 pm (5 months ago)

      Thank you so much, Tania! I really appreciate your support xx

      Reply
  9. Andrea
    March 30, 2018 at 8:41 pm (5 months ago)

    Do what makes you happy, that thing you feel is worth your very valuable time, (whether it’s monetary or psychological value that it gives you). You’re a kickass writer, do what makes you feel good. And carry a notebook at all times. Or recording device. Love you xx

    Reply
  10. Elisa @ With Grace + Eve
    March 30, 2018 at 10:00 pm (5 months ago)

    Welcome back Renee! I say write whatever you want and when you want to, and trust that the people you’re meant to connect with will read it. That’s my motto anyway. Elisa xx

    Reply
  11. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    April 4, 2018 at 6:43 am (5 months ago)

    Yay you’re back! I missed you! Even though I blog reasonably regularly I can totally relate to so much of what you’re saying. I think if you want to write here, then you should, the value in your writing is in expressing yourself and being creative, it’s for you. The number of people who read what you write is a bonus, but it’s not a measure of the value of your words.

    Reply

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