This one goes out to my amazing school mum friends

I told Dave the other day that school drop off and pick up was the highlight of my day.

I didn’t mean on that particular day. I meant every day. And I wasn’t being sarcastic or having a whine about the mundanity of life. I was being serious.

I seriously love school drop off and pick up.

Of course it’s nice to see your kids off to school and give them a warm hug at the end of the school day, but the real reason I love school drop off and pick up so much is my school mum friends.

When our eldest started school last year, I was focused on her (obviously) finding her place and settling in. She was a shy wee thing and I desperately wanted her to start school with as little anxiety as possible and make friends. And she has, she’s made some beautiful friendships that I watch grow stronger day by day.

What I didn’t expect was for me to make friends too.

It started off slowly. There was a ‘hi’ here and a ‘hello’ there. And then there was a ‘How’s little Jimmy settling in?’ and then a ‘Yes, pretty well thanks, how about Susie?’

These daily 5 – 10 minute conversations grew and we began chatting and catching up out of school. One of the first play dates we were invited to I shared a bottle of prosecco with the mum. I remember walking home half-drunk thinking that I’ve finally found my people.

Side note: Don’t worry, not all play dates are like that – although it wouldn’t be bad if they were 😉

I love that I have formed a bond with many of the mums in my daughter’s class and mums outside her class too. I know that they’ve got my back if I need them and I’ve got theirs if they need me. Whether it’s minding my kid if I’m running late or giving them a hug if they’re upset and I’m not around. I know I can rely on these women to help me out and I trust they think the same of me.

We talk openly and honestly to each other about everything from stubborn children, head lice and homework to the work / life balance, career aspirations and going grey. Some of these things may or may not be related. We raise each other up, not tear each other down.

Early last year I wrote a post for Champagne Cartel on how to make friends in your 30s and 40s.

I was going through a weird patch – a lonely patch, I guess. My friend network had dwindled for various reasons and it was getting me down. It’s not easy to make friends in your 30s and 40s, especially if you’re introverted like me.

It’s true what I said in that article though, sometimes you have to push out of your comfort zone. You have to make an effort and say hello. Ask people how they are going and be friendly and open up. You’re seriously missing out if you don’t.

In little more than a year after writing that post, things have completely turned around for me. I’ve been blessed to connect with an amazing group of clever, funny and relatable women in the same phase of life as me. Our daily interactions make me smile and put a spring in my step.

If that doesn’t call for prosecco on a play date, I don’t know what does!

Do you find it easy or hard to make friends? Do you think it gets harder with age? What are the parents like at your kid’s school?

Linking up today with Kylie Purtell for IBOT.

25 comments on This one goes out to my amazing school mum friends

  1. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    August 29, 2017 at 6:43 am (3 months ago)

    I think it’s easy for me to create friendly relationships. But not all of them can be called FRIENDS. I have a handful of friends created from my kids social and school groups. People that have stuck and I can actually call friends. There are a lot of others that come and go though.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:21 am (3 months ago)

      Yes, I’m sure I will experience the same. I’m enjoying it for what it is now though 🙂

      Reply
  2. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    August 29, 2017 at 6:44 am (3 months ago)

    I hear ya! When we moved from the UK down under, we had to start a new friendship circle from scratch. It is hard making friends in your thirties and forties, although I’m starting to wonder whether making friends is ever easy, maybe we’ve just forgotten how tricky it can be. I’m so pleased you’ve found your people and yes, to friends with Prosecco. Here’s to bubbles not troubles!

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:23 am (3 months ago)

      Haha love it!!! Starting a friendship circle from scratch would be hard indeed. Luckily you’re such a vivacious, friendly and interesting woman!!!

      Reply
  3. Min@WriteoftheMiddle
    August 29, 2017 at 7:52 am (3 months ago)

    I made some lovely friends when my kids were in their school years. Many of them are still friends but one of them has become a BFF who I do a lot of ‘life’ing’ with! 🙂

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:23 am (3 months ago)

      Aww that’s so lovely, Min.

      Reply
  4. Drumé
    August 29, 2017 at 8:23 am (3 months ago)

    Love to be meeting you at school pick up to introverts hanging out. So brilliant you are finding your people. Nothing better than having people you can turn to in your life. I’m finding that out lately. X

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:24 am (3 months ago)

      It’s pretty special 🙂 x

      Reply
  5. Vanessa
    August 29, 2017 at 10:42 am (3 months ago)

    I think what makes it hard for me is that I have few friends who live anywhere near me. Possibly only one, now I think about it. Not that online friends aren’t wonderful and supportive but sometimes you do want to see people in the flesh.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:24 am (3 months ago)

      Yes, that’s right. I had quite a few close friends move and it does make it hard.

      Reply
  6. Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared
    August 29, 2017 at 1:49 pm (3 months ago)

    That’s so lovely that you’ve found a little school mum tribe! My son started school last year and it was a struggle for both of us for so many reasons (not all related to school itself). This year I feel so much more at ease and glad to have a nice chat with a couple of the mums I feel like I could click with. I am yet to find out if they’re sweary or enjoy a mojito, but I hope in time I will! x

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:25 am (3 months ago)

      One can only hope, Kez!!! 🙂 x

      Reply
  7. annette
    August 29, 2017 at 3:14 pm (3 months ago)

    Lovely blog Renee…..i am finding the same with my regular women’s exercise group. we chat, exchange stories, and always go for a cuppa after the gym. i just love it. no pressure, no demands, just lovely simple like-minded people. xxx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:26 am (3 months ago)

      That is awesome, Annette!! It really makes a difference to life xxx

      Reply
  8. Denyse
    August 29, 2017 at 4:43 pm (3 months ago)

    This is so cool. I remember how it was for you when your elder daughter started school…and look, now you have your younger one doing this in 2018. I love the story of how you have made friends. I guess as teachers we made friends with other teachers but friendship groups changed from school to school and with our move to the central coast we are mostly by ourselves. I miss chatting with people and in fact I found being in hospital was good for that funnily enough! This is a really positive thing you are experiencing as some people do not. Good on you and for sharing it too! Denyse xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:26 am (3 months ago)

      Thanks so much, Denyse. I can just imagine you socialising in hospital 🙂 xx

      Reply
  9. beck @ craftypjmum
    August 29, 2017 at 5:52 pm (3 months ago)

    Oh how I miss the school mum friendships of the primary school days. Once my kids started high school and us mums started back to work the friendships slowly vanished.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:27 am (3 months ago)

      Yes, I fear the same will happen here, so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts 🙂

      Reply
  10. Tracy
    August 29, 2017 at 7:42 pm (3 months ago)

    It was much easier when I had little kids, because our friendships were kind of related to that season of our life. We had to make a move a few years back, and because our children were so much older we haven’t made friends in the same way that we did when they were small. I’m the one in our family who struggles most in rebuilding what we had to walk away from. My tribe is very small. Precious, but very small. I have many hard days related to that.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:28 am (3 months ago)

      I can imagine you do, Tracy. You sound similar to me. It doesn’t matter the size of your group, it matters who is in it. Big hugs x

      Reply
  11. Elisa @ With Grace + Eve
    August 29, 2017 at 9:41 pm (3 months ago)

    I hear you!! But you seem extroverted to me!! Love this post Renee. I’ve felt this too xx

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      August 30, 2017 at 6:29 am (3 months ago)

      Oh gosh no!!! I’m completely socially awkward, but I do try lol xx

      Reply
  12. Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum
    August 30, 2017 at 11:51 am (3 months ago)

    In the beginning, I found it tricky to make many school mum friendships as I was working so not often at the school gate or if I was I was always in a hurry to be somewhere else. I guess it’s no wonder that my closest friends are those who I worked with many years ago and remain good friends with today. Since leaving behind my career, I now have a number of school mum friends but it has taken time to develop. Although I still have Miss 2 to get through kinder and start school yet, so there’s still many, many years to go 🙂

    Reply

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