The Fun Police

You know those Snickers ads with Betty White, Joe Pesci and our own Alf ‘stone the flaming crows’ Stewart?

They are the ones with the tagline, ‘You’re not you when you’re hungry’, showing a person turning into someone else when they are hungry. An agro, moody, crazy someone else.

Well, I’m like that when someone or something threatens to wake up my kids. I turn into someone else. I’m not me.

I don’t know what happens, but it’s like a switch that gets flicked. I’m like Bruce Banner turning into the hulk. I become … Naughty Naisy.

I must admit Naughty Naisy has been a bit active lately. I blame it on the mere four or five hours of sleep a night I’m getting. All that is needed to invoke Naughty Naisy these days is a gardener whipping out the leaf blower outside the kids’ bedrooms while they are down for their daytime nap, or the neighbours blasting music louder than a nightclub while I’m home alone without Dave for support.

I don’t know when I became so irrational, or so quick to turn ghetto. ‘OoOh LaaawWwD. Chu DIdn’t Jus TuRn DAtt mUsic UHp yo? Ah Cayn’T Believe U jus Woke Uhp MaH $hoRTiESS’.

On Saturday night, I was swearing black and blue that if the music from a party across the road kept waking the girls up past 10.30pm, I’d call the cops.

As I was simmering over the loud music, seething that Dave was away while this was going on, and stressing that both kids would never go to sleep, I started to wonder when I turned into the Fun Police.

Back in my twenties, I would have been someone who had the Fun Police called on them. Every Tuesday night I’d have a group of mates over to my house for Dawson’s Creek night. There would be pizza, there would be wine, there would be loud, drunken chat out on my verandah until the wee hours of the morning. On a Tuesday night no less!

When you are young and kid free you just don’t think of those poor neighbours of yours, those poor sleep deprived mums who are going nuts trying to get their kids to sleep after you have woken them up with your in-depth discussions on whether Joey should be with Dawson or Pacey.

Remembering the good old days and keeping in mind that my own girls will probably be keeing the same neighbours up when they’re in their teens, I kept the Fun Police under wraps and didn’t call the police (this time). If only I didn’t wildly declare that I was quitting sugar last week, I could grab a Snickers bar and turn back into me.

Is lack of sleep driving you crazy? Do you lose the plot when your kids get woken up?

For a bit of fun check this out English to Ghetto translator. I could be on this all day now …

6 comments on The Fun Police

  1. [email protected]
    May 27, 2013 at 5:34 am (6 years ago)

    I think I became the fun police when I was about 6 months pregnant with my first bub. I was so tired & grumpy all the time & it hasn’t changed since – nearly 4 years & another child later! Sleep deprivation & constant demand are such beasts – they turn me from Jeckyll to Hyde very quickly these days! Throw in noisy neighbours or the like at those times when (if) I finally manage to get just a little peace, for just a short time & I go all Incredible Hulk on everyone’s ass!! :).

  2. Claire
    May 27, 2013 at 9:54 am (6 years ago)

    Love it!! Just remember sleep deprivation is a form of torture!

    • mummywifeme
      May 28, 2013 at 5:01 am (6 years ago)

      God, don’t we know it, Claire! 🙂

  3. mummywifeme
    May 27, 2013 at 10:46 am (6 years ago)

    Haha! Love it, Jodie! Glad to hear I’m not alone!! 🙂

  4. veggie mama
    May 29, 2013 at 2:43 am (6 years ago)

    I became the fun police before I even had kids! I was sitting on a train in Sydney when a bunch of schoolgirls at the back started talking really loudly. I was getting pretty over it when they started singing some random pop song as loud as they could, and then I had to smile. That would have been me at that age, with my friends, having the absolute time of my life… so I let them enjoy their performance and now I remember how much fun I had as a young’un and try not to be an old bore.

    but don’t you wake up my homies! Or I’ll cut a bitch.

    Book me in for your next Dawson’s night. I’m there.

    • mummywifeme
      May 29, 2013 at 3:20 am (6 years ago)

      Lol! Yeah, it’s all fun and games until the baby wakes up. That’s when mummy goes total cray.
      Thanks for dropping by!!


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