Turning a corner

Some days I feel like I’ve turned a corner in this motherhood gig.

Some days the stars align and there is more good in the day than bad. More easy than hard.

There’s no fighting or screaming, no whinging or unrealistic demands. The girls play happily and use their manners and I’m given a reprieve, a chance to breathe. I feel calm and connected and have faith that things are becoming easier as the girls get older.

Yesterday was one of those good days. I took the girls on a road trip and we spent a delicious day together on the beach. The weather was just the right temperature, the water was warm, a cool breeze was blowing and the girls were blissfully happy all day long.

Once scared of the waves, they surprised me with how confident they’ve become. We laughed, played, ate ourselves silly, and even made new friends.

As I stood at the water’s edge with a babe on either side of me, their hands in mine as they laughed and jumped, I felt a wave of happiness wash over me.

I couldn’t remember feeling that calm and content for a long time.

I felt as though everything that I’ve been doing over the past weeks to simplify my life was making a difference.

And then, you know, there are the days when you’re fearing public humiliation as you pick up nuggets of your daughter’s poo from the side of the local swimming pool, you’re refereeing 16 fights a day, and shouting so much the neighbours must wonder what the hell is going on, that you realise you still have so far to go.

I may not be out of the trenches yet, but I do feel like things are turning a corner slowly but surely.

The girls are learning to and wanting to do more for themselves, especially Miss Five who is virtually a mini-me. My training has paid off, she’s such a well-behaved little darling. The small one needs further training, of course, deep in the throes of threenager territory, but I have faith that we’ll get there.

I’m able to go out more without the girls and reignite the spark inside me. I don’t freak out anymore when Dave wants to have a night out or go away for a few days. I know I’ve got this and I’m bloody well enjoying it too – good days and bad.

How about you? Are you deep in the trenches, or can you see the light? For those of you with older children, how long do I have out of the trenches before motherhood starts to get tricky again?

Linking up today with Essentially Jess for I Blog on Tuesdays (IBOT).

75 comments on Turning a corner

  1. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    January 19, 2016 at 6:21 am (2 years ago)

    I’m not sure when I got out of the trenches. But my kids at 16 and 12 are an absolute breeze! Have been for years and years. Oh there are challenges, but I don’t feel the need to be 100% switched on 100% of the time. I think that happened about the 8 year old mark for me (from memory). The more independent they became, the more independent I was again! Bliss.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:03 pm (2 years ago)

      That sounds very promising, Leanne. Thank you!

      Reply
  2. Lydia C. Lee
    January 19, 2016 at 6:21 am (2 years ago)

    For me, all the under 12 stuff is a breeze – once the high school chaos hits, it’s a whole other story…so I’m down in the trenches, and scared to put my head up…;)

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:04 pm (2 years ago)

      Eek. I think tweens and teens could potentially be very scary!

      Reply
  3. Shannon@ my2morrows
    January 19, 2016 at 6:37 am (2 years ago)

    It’s so lovely to have those moments of parenting bliss! We’re pretty much out of the early childhood trenches and funnily enough I’m starting to miss some parts of being there. I do love seeing them gain more confidence and independence though. Xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:05 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes, I can imagine I’ll miss them too. Funny isn’t it!! x

      Reply
  4. Erin@TheMumsGroup
    January 19, 2016 at 6:49 am (2 years ago)

    We are deep, deep in the trenches still. The 18 month old is already showing signs of terrible twos and three year old, yeah you know, is being a three year old! Oh but I so agree about five being a turning corner moment! The five year old is divine (most of the home)!! X

    Reply
    • Erin@TheMumsGroup
      January 19, 2016 at 6:50 am (2 years ago)

      *Most of the time!

      Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:09 pm (2 years ago)

      Lordy. I only have two. I don’t know how you cope with three and all so young too. You’re doing an amazing job of it all! xx

      Reply
  5. Amy @ Handbagmafia
    January 19, 2016 at 7:00 am (2 years ago)

    That’s lovely! I feel that I am getting it right and enjoying it most of the time- and that’s no small thing!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:09 pm (2 years ago)

      Exactly right, Amy. Glad to hear it’s all going well for you 🙂

      Reply
  6. Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection
    January 19, 2016 at 7:24 am (2 years ago)

    I had a moment like that last night. It was 8pm and my youngest sons birthday. We took the dog to the beach for his walk and I stood, just for a moment and watched the sun leave the day alone and it felt wonderful – happy wonderful.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:10 pm (2 years ago)

      That’s awesome, Nat. We need to feel like that more often.

      Reply
  7. Lauren @ Create Bake Make
    January 19, 2016 at 7:24 am (2 years ago)

    It sounds like you guys had a gorgeous day, it sounds fabulous! I feel as though I’m still stuck in the trenches and don’t think I’m leaving them anytime soon. Thankfully it’s those ‘perfect’ moments that help keep us going x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:11 pm (2 years ago)

      Exactly right, Lauren. Your boys are such little darlings. I’m sure there are plenty of perfect moments 🙂 x

      Reply
  8. Kathy
    January 19, 2016 at 7:42 am (2 years ago)

    Great to hear Renee – although expect Miss 5 to get tired and cranky starting school and maybe regress a little bit in her independence for a while – it will sort itself out and Miss 3 will get grow up more at the same time. We are heading into the high school trenches though, and that is a whole different story I’m told.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:12 pm (2 years ago)

      Thanks for the advice, Kathy! High school. Wow. That’s a whole new ball game. I think you better fasten your seat belt for that one 😉

      Reply
  9. Deb @inner compass designs
    January 19, 2016 at 7:47 am (2 years ago)

    We are in the new trench of Tweens (less than 6 months from oldest being a teen) where there are ups and downs again. Most of it is hormone driven, need for space/privacy pushes the younger from older, and at times the kids wanting to stay up late while the tired parents want to go to bed lol (Summer is different with a 12 yo and almost 11yo- they sleep late and then stay up late)

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:13 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh God. I can’t say I’m looking forward to that. I don’t even know what age tweens are. Eek. I better start researching 🙂

      Reply
  10. stephanie@stephsjoy
    January 19, 2016 at 8:09 am (2 years ago)

    What Lauren said about those ‘perfect’ moments are getting me through too! I think as soon as you get out of one trench, you come upon another! Glad you had a great day yesterday!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:15 pm (2 years ago)

      I think you’re right, Steph. I don’t think there really is an easy period once you’re a parent 🙂

      Reply
  11. Robyna | The Mummy & The Minx
    January 19, 2016 at 8:16 am (2 years ago)

    I find that the moments of family bliss always tend to happen outdoors. As soon as the kids hit a natural environment, they are in their element and I can relax. Because it doesn’t matter if they are loud and boisterous at the beach.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:17 pm (2 years ago)

      I agree, Robyna. Our most magical times have happened outdoors too. It’s so easy for the kids to get cabin fever in the house and to get in each others way.

      Reply
  12. Min@WriteoftheMiddle
    January 19, 2016 at 8:19 am (2 years ago)

    Love those waves of happiness when they come. Soak them up! I know you would have heard this a zillion times but as someone whose babies are all grown up, enjoy being in the trenches while you’re there because those days whizz by and are over in a flash and you will have moments where you wish you could go back even just briefly to hug those little kids of yours back when they liked to be hugged and thought you were the ants pants! 😉 xo

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:18 pm (2 years ago)

      Yes, I will definitely miss those parts when they’re gone, Min. My three year old is very cuddly at the moment and I’m loving it 🙂 x

      Reply
  13. Nicole@ The Builders Wife
    January 19, 2016 at 9:41 am (2 years ago)

    I’ve just come through to the other side, where the teenage hormones render the once sane children to be monster like. With 4 in their teen years, I fear it will be a long road ahead. xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:19 pm (2 years ago)

      Eeek!!!! Good luck to you, my friend. Good luck x

      Reply
  14. Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life
    January 19, 2016 at 10:56 am (2 years ago)

    I have a tween and teens and I have to say these holidays have been very good, but sometimes I’m scared to say that out aloud, let alone type it, in case it all changes again tomorrow!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:20 pm (2 years ago)

      Haha! Yes, you don’t want to jinx yourself. I’m glad you’ve been having a lovely time of it.

      Reply
  15. Ashleigh @ MyMeow
    January 19, 2016 at 2:18 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m leaning towards aunthood as the path for me. I don’t know how you mums do it. I think you’re amazing. From observation it sounds like hard work, most of the way!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:20 pm (2 years ago)

      Aunthood equals super fun times ahead!!! Enjoy every second 🙂

      Reply
  16. EssentiallyJess
    January 19, 2016 at 2:27 pm (2 years ago)

    It’s such a nice time when you get there. I’ve been feeling like this the last few years and it’s wonderful.
    Of course with an almost teen and a tween, there are still a lot of moments. We have a long way to go, but then we always have a long way to go don’t we? Even as adults we can be getting better at something.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:24 pm (2 years ago)

      Very true, Jess. I’m so glad to here things are going so well with you even with a teen and tween. You’ve done so well with those kids and they’re gorgeous too.

      Reply
  17. Denise
    January 19, 2016 at 2:39 pm (2 years ago)

    Ah that’s nice to hear Renee especially from my vantage point with a 2 and a half year old. It is pure chaos most of the time. That part about picking up poo made me laugh. Some kid did a poo in the swimming pool last week (not mine!!) and the whole place had to close for an hour. The lifeguard said it happens at least once a week without fail!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:25 pm (2 years ago)

      Oh I can imagine! So disgusting isn’t it?! I was quite disgusted when I saw the poo and then realised it was my child who did it. Arghhh!!!!!

      Reply
  18. Bec Senyard
    January 19, 2016 at 2:45 pm (2 years ago)

    Still in the trenches for me. I can’t wait till I turn that corner. There are days where I feel like we are nearly there, and other days when I think, we have so far to go. It’s all about making the most of the season you’re in. So refreshing to read this post. You’re a fabulous mum and your girls are wonderful because of you and Dave. I’m so glad you’re enjoying your time together more. I’m thinking it will be at least another year till I join you. x

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:26 pm (2 years ago)

      I just can’t believe how quickly Phoebe is growing. She’ll definitely be keeping you on your toes for a little while yet. Lucky they’re all cute, huh?! 🙂 x

      Reply
  19. Jody at Six Little Hearts
    January 19, 2016 at 5:07 pm (2 years ago)

    Lovely! Yes I have those days but there are still many that are a challenge!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:27 pm (2 years ago)

      With six kids, Jody, I don’t know how you do it!

      Reply
  20. Emily
    January 19, 2016 at 6:37 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m in the trenches but I’m still loving being there! A seems similar to your Miss Five, and M is still 2 but going on … well, I won’t say 12. Maybe 8? A fun little daredevil who doesn’t want help to do anything, but still comes running to mum when he hurts himself or when there’s a big, scary (sausage) dog nearby.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:28 pm (2 years ago)

      Lol. How cute!! He really is a little darling 🙂

      Reply
  21. Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers
    January 19, 2016 at 6:55 pm (2 years ago)

    Yep, I hear ya! As you know, I wrote similar the other day about feeling like we can start thinking about other things again and not just the surviving day by day with young ones who take up your entire being. It’s refreshing in many ways! But I do get clucky occasionally too! Mad I tell you, madness!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:29 pm (2 years ago)

      It sure is refreshing. Oh and I know about the cluckiness. I see another baby and I melt 🙂

      Reply
  22. Tegan
    January 19, 2016 at 8:25 pm (2 years ago)

    I don’t know if we ever really get out of the trenches. I think each age presents its own set of challenges. I think we learn more along the way too, so we become better adapted to those challenges.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 19, 2016 at 9:30 pm (2 years ago)

      Well said, Tegan. I think you’re right 🙂

      Reply
  23. Jo @ You had us at hello
    January 19, 2016 at 10:29 pm (2 years ago)

    Our kids are similar ages Renee! Except my threenager turns 4 in a few weeks. I totally hear ya! Just lately I’ve had such awesome days of fantastic behaviour, all the cuteness and I’m thinking…WOW! Look at us hey! We’ve been heads down, bums up working so hard to get through parenting and they’re actually pretty neat kids! then shit hits the fan, they start fighting, you step on yet another piece of lego and you get another shitty night sleep! I’ve been told by other mums with older kids it’s different problems but the same level of crazy. AWESOME! becareful of the cluck my friend – it’s a trap! Hand them back! haha xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:23 am (2 years ago)

      Lol Jo!!! Yep, it sounds like we’re in the same boat. They’ve been fighting like cats and dogs this morning, but I’ve popped on a DVD and now we have peace xx

      Reply
  24. Toni @ Finding Myself Young
    January 19, 2016 at 10:44 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m still in the trenches lol. Even though I go out with her a lot by myself its still mainly to people’s houses or gatherings where there will be a group of my friends. I don’t venture out much in public by myself with her when we’re alone. The tantrums still make me cringe. One day it’ll be better I’m sure.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:25 am (2 years ago)

      Yes, it will. Everyday gets a little easier 🙂

      Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:25 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Janet. I’m looking forward to them xx

      Reply
  25. Emma @ Life, kids and a glass of red
    January 20, 2016 at 11:23 am (2 years ago)

    I’m definitely still stuck in the trenches but I know I’ll climb out eventually! In the meantime, I have plenty of coffee to keep me going 🙂

    Reply
  26. Kylie Purtell
    January 20, 2016 at 1:11 pm (2 years ago)

    We have definitely turned a bit of a corner with regard to Punky. She still has her explosive four year old moments, but they mostly come now when she is overtired or excited. The youngest one though, there is still a looooong way to go and she is pretty much the reason I’ve come to realise that two kids is good for us. I don’t think I could handle another toddler, they suck so hard!

    Reply
    • Kylie Purtell
      January 20, 2016 at 1:12 pm (2 years ago)

      Oops! Forgot to #teamIBOT too!

      Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:29 am (2 years ago)

      Yep, they are full on!!! Two is definitely enough for us too 🙂

      Reply
  27. Hugzilla
    January 20, 2016 at 8:35 pm (2 years ago)

    Ooooh, my kids are about the same age as yours and I resonate with so much of this. School holidays has hit me hard, with both of them home ALL THE TIME. Surprisingly they’ve been getting together quite well, but I’m feeling the need for some peace and quiet. One week to go….

    Reply
  28. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    January 20, 2016 at 8:56 pm (2 years ago)

    Here’s to turning corners! I guess it’s like that saying “every day may not be good, but there is always something good in every day.” xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 20, 2016 at 9:08 pm (2 years ago)

      I love that saying, Sammie. Thanks for reminding me of it xx

      Reply
  29. Karin @ Calm to Conniption
    January 20, 2016 at 10:40 pm (2 years ago)

    I am deep in the trenches. I keep saying one more year and things will get easier. My youngest turns 1 next month. I think once they are two the going out gets easier, it is just the tantrum factor then. Eeeck!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:28 am (2 years ago)

      Yeah that’s right. It’s definitely easier once they’re past 1. You can get out more. I find there’s less tantrums if the trips out are quick and easy and don’t have too much walking involved 🙂

      Reply
  30. Danielle @ Several Kinds of Crazy
    January 20, 2016 at 11:58 pm (2 years ago)

    I must admit whilst it seems easier to parent the older kids, it comes with another huge set of worries! So just before my youngest was born I felt at my most relaxed, the kids were between 6 & 12 ~ but now with a 4, 10, 12, 14 & 15 year old I feel like there is always a drama to field. I think a lot of that is blended family drama though. I do think if all the kids were ‘mine’ 95% of the issues wouldn’t exist.. But then again there’s no way of knowing that lol. Hold in there!

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:30 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks Danielle!! And you too! You really have your hands full. Well done you for keeping it all together 🙂

      Reply
  31. Sam Stone
    January 21, 2016 at 6:36 am (2 years ago)

    The beach is a great place to feel the calm 🙂
    My daughter is 7 and my son is 3 – they are equally challenging in their own way. But there are glimpses of peace and calm every now and then.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:31 am (2 years ago)

      And it’s so important to grab hold of those glimpses of peace. It’s what keeps us going 🙂

      Reply
  32. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me
    January 21, 2016 at 1:59 pm (2 years ago)

    This is freaking great to read – I LOVE those moments. I had one yesterday when I took all 3 to the beach myself and I wasn’t stressed or worried because they can all swim and listen and do both quite well at times! xx

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:32 am (2 years ago)

      That is awesome, Em, sounds absolutely perfect xx

      Reply
  33. Kooky Chic
    January 21, 2016 at 2:37 pm (2 years ago)

    Batton down the hatches for the tween/teenage years. I’ve sent away for numerous boarding school info packs. Right now I am listening to a very heated argument as to who should hold the tv remote. Personally I would like to throw it/them at the tv. Have to run away as there are tears.

    Reply
    • Mummy, Wife, Me
      January 22, 2016 at 10:33 am (2 years ago)

      Tears from you or them? Lol. Yes, I’m actually very scared of the tween/teenage years. Argh!

      Reply
  34. Pinky Poinker
    January 28, 2016 at 9:22 am (2 years ago)

    You seem such a calm person Renee I can’t imagine your girls turning into surly teens. My daughter was okay as a teen. They don’t all go down the tubes 🙂

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      February 3, 2016 at 6:21 am (2 years ago)

      That’s comforting to hear, Pinky 🙂

      Reply
  35. Robyn
    January 30, 2016 at 7:39 pm (2 years ago)

    Lovely post, the description of your perfect day with your daughters was so vivid and sweet. I love those days when you just seem to gel with your kid(s) and there’s no resistance. Oh, how I wish there were more of them though! I just have one strong willed toddler and on good days he makes me laugh with his cheeky mischief, but on bad days he’s stubborn from breakfast to bedtime.

    Reply
    • mummywifeme
      mummywifeme
      February 3, 2016 at 6:22 am (2 years ago)

      Oh I can definitely relate, Robyn. Fun times aren’t they?! 🙂

      Reply

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