Six months into my blogging adventure, I have published 52 posts and written three guest posts, met five gorgeous bloggers IRL and connected with many more virtually, and had one offer of sex from a follower.
Wowsers! It’s been a big six months.
Blogging has given me everything that I hoped it would and more over the past six months. It is the something special I craved to snap me out of my mummy fog and make me feel alive again. It is something for me, my passion, my therapy, my release. It excites me and makes me feel like I have a voice.
It also makes me feel vulnerable.
Until I was propositioned, I guess I hadn’t dwelled on the fact that my words, stories, and face are ‘out there’ on the web for all to see.
It’s not like I’m standing on a podium speaking to a stadium of people, it’s me in front of a computer screen. It’s like I’m having a conversation with a mirror, but behind the mirror is the world.
I think a large part of me thought that no one would read my blog because it is boring and pointless. Perhaps I subconsciously told myself this, so I wouldn’t find it so hard to put myself out there. People are reading it though and they aren’t finding it boring or pointless.
As a blogger, I sometimes share online my innermost thoughts, fears and flaws in my character. I share intimate moments with my family, the ups and downs, the good and bad.
I absolutely love the interaction I get from readers on my blog and crave for more and more people to interact, connect, and relate to what I’m writing. At the same time, it can be quite overwhelming. One moment I’m whining to Dave that I’ve lost a few Facebook fans and the next I’m saying, ‘Holy sheet, Dave, I’ve just gotten a stack more likers! How am I going to keep them all engaged?!’
I think this feeling of vulnerability I am experiencing is okay. It’s normal and worth it. I want people to see me. I want my blog to be real and honest and to give readers something to relate to and let them know they’re not alone.
While it’s scary to know that followers may be criticising my writing and my personality, or looking at my profile pic in a way that makes my skin crawl, I have to keep taking that leap. Blogging gives me so much fulfillment. It makes me feel worthwhile and strive to be a better person.
To get past this feeling of vulnerability, I simply practice caution with what I share. I do the front page of the news test with each post, ensure I don’t cross boundaries with my loved ones, and respect Dave and our girls.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Brene Brown who is quite the expert on vulnerability.
“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”
What makes you feel vulnerable? How do you decide what you share on your blog?